Hey ladies! I recently turn 30 and is utterly and completely single. I don’t want children but I’m worried that’s because I haven’t met the one that changes my mind. I have been seriously contemplating freezing my eggs so I have options. Looking for some advice on whether I should do it and some insight on the process.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Saying this as kindly as possible (and as a childfree by choice woman), “Meeting the one that changes your mind” is a terrible reason to have children. It’s okay not to want kids. It’s okay not to want kids *yet*. But it should be a situation where having kids would be a decision you’d make entirely on your own because it’s something you really, really want. Divorces happen, death happens… there are many circumstances under which you could end up as a single parent.

Freezing your eggs should be a last resort. You’ve got plenty of time.

likesmart

Long ass marriage that didn't last. He was abusive. 2 kids. Keep your freedom, your body, and let them play side d!ck to your job until and unless there's magic in a healthy way. Your toys will bring you more regular satisfaction anyway. Do all the things. Have no debt. Travel. Eff til you drop. My 2 cents.

likeuplifting

Im really loving the energy here 😂

like

Freezing your eggs is an intense process and it locks you into $$$ IVF down the road (which is also an intense process). I personally would not freeze eggs “just in case.”

It’s also important to be honest with yourself about your motivations and priorities. It sounds like you may not be sure about what you want and why.

like

If your firm pays for it, that’s a big reason to do it. I’m doing it later in life (on cycle 2) and would have to likely do fewer cycles if I had the option when I was 30. Thankfully I do still have some eggs so it’s worth it (or at least may be). But if it’s out of your pocket, think through it as carefully as suggested above.

It’s exhausting, you can’t exercise (apart from walks) for almost a month, and you may gain weight. It’s like a lot of the worst parts of your cycle for a couple weeks. Mood changes, bloating, abdominal discomfort, exhaustion, etc. Also you won’t know the date for retrieval until a few days before hand and you have to be in town and available for appointments every 2-3 days for the weeks leading up to it. And you have to be comfortable giving yourself 3+ shots a day. I thought I would be (I get blood taken a lot) and I almost passed out the first time because I was so scared of getting it wrong (which is thankfully really hard to do).

For me the procedure itself (and the checkin appointments) and recovery was super easy. I went to an excellent clinic where this is basically all they do and they even sent me home with chocolates after the procedure. Every appointment stated on time and everyone was incredibly friendly. So finding a good clinic is super key.

likehelpful

All that said knowing how it feels now if I had the opportunity at 30 to do it for reduced price, I would.

Hi! Have you had any fertility testing to check your egg count? If you have a decent AML, you may not need to do this for quite some time.

likehelpful

Quantity does not equal quality.

The work up they do first is super helpful and could help you decide. You get data on your egg reserve and hormone levels, and they do a genetics screen. If you’re at a private clinic and not at a hospital, you’ll probably get a really strong sales pitch after the work up, so be prepared for that.

If you do it, a couple pieces of advice:

Make sure you go to a reputable place with doctors who have done tons of retrieval surgeries.

The hormones can really mess you up, but there are alternative options available, so don’t be afraid to ask. I didn’t know that, and the estrogen primer they prescribed me really f***ed me up emotionally—I was sobbing all day for no reason and felt super overwhelmed. I ended up abandoning the whole thing because I couldn’t cope and didn’t know there was a different hormone I could have used.

Take time off work, or work from home and schedule a very light workload. You probably won’t feel your best. You may even feel your absolute worst ever.

likehelpful

FWIW, I did it for this reason and found it pretty straightforward/uneventful apart from going into appointments before the day started for a few weeks. It’s not for everyone and there’s a cost. Happy to talk about process. Agreed: you definitely want to do a screen first with a reputable doctor and understand what to expect in terms of possible side effects and outcomes.

like

Agreed, I’m mid cycle now, I don’t find it to be that daunting. But my fiancés job fully covers the cost.

I disagree with many of the above posts. If there is any doubt at all that you might want a baby in the future, you should go ahead and freeze the eggs at thirty years old. I froze mine at 36 and the quality and quantity were not good. Your chances for the most amount of eggs and better quality ones are excellent now. If you freeze them now, you will likely save yourself aggravation, the need for numerous cycles, and a lot of money later on. I agree with the comments on bloating and terrible side effects. Also, just because you freeze them does not mean that you are required to do IVF down the road. (Although: another point to consider: How will SCOTUS start screwing with these rights down the road—-this should be a serious potential consideration for acting now and not waiting with how reproductive rights have been and will continue to be attacked.)

like

Yeah. If my firm had paid for it when I was younger it would have been a no brainer for me. They only just started and I happen to still have a good number of eggs but I wish I had the opportunity at a younger age.

like

Related Posts

Can hilton points be used for any airline? Want to take my wife on a trip but dont have airline point and airticket to my destination is expensive. Have Marriot points also

like

Are we allowed to work more than 40 hours a week on CPT?

like

Golfers: athletes or no?

like

Cobbled together from other people's oc.

Post Photo
likefunny

Unpopular opinion on flattening the curve: ok we all know we need to extend the tail at the end... how bout that tail at the beginning? I mean I'm in a midwest city where cases are hardly [cont]

likehelpful

Curious thoughts: What would you say puts the most pressure on insurance companies to settle cases? Upcoming trial, risk of bad faith exposure, a bad witness, a screw up pre-suit, etc?

like

Can someone please tell me What is Google IT services India Pvt Limited ? How it is different from Google India Pvt Limited ? #Google

like

Hi folks,

I am expecting an offer from Globant I just want to know if there is any bench policy? and how about job security and wlb in globant

like

Looking for Netflix binge watching recommendations

like

what is the best big 4 for work life balance?

Anyone have a gym bag they travel with? Looking for some recs! Ideally something that has enough room for two pairs of shoes (lifting and gym shoes), accessories, and supplements. Durable for travel.

I am just waiting on the next Netflix documentary! 🏎

like

average salary for EY people advisory services in Canada (manager level)?

like

Wanted to buy a robo vaccum. I see roomba i4 and shark IQ on deals. Any experience with either of the ones? Which one is better ?

likesmart

Saw the posts on workout clothes and wanted to add-on a more specific question: What are your favorite gym shorts for boxing or muay thai or Brazilian jujitsu?

like

Classpass vs. Lifetime vs. LA Fitness. Which is the best and why? Gracias.

Anyone hiring? I'm a recent Master's graduate seeking a strategist role.

Hi All - Any recos on great biz dev creatives or small agency to design pitch decks?

like

Hi Buddies,
I have lied about my LWD (gave a date one month after actual LWD) and got offer in the new organization , will that be a problem while joining??
P.S: I have some personal commitment in that one month !!!!Please guide me as this my first jump....

like

Hello, I have received a JD from one of the HR of Deloitte. The designation is Business Technology Analyst. Is this Deloitte India or Deloitte USI? Can anyone help.

Additional Posts in Women in Law

Hey ladies. I just had surgery today and I am out on short term disability until further notice. I am most like going to get a once in a life time job offer by a big law firm at the end of the week. I’ve never practiced in a law firm, so this will help me with my career big time. How should I give notice to my in house gig? The petty side of me wants to just tell them I’m not coming back but the business woman in me is saying to leave amicably and try to bring them in as client. ... cont in com

like

Need hair advice for how to make my hair look ok for the office. I’m Korean, with thick, straight hair and I’ve never done anything to it - I never even blow dry it, and I’ve always worn it down. But through my 20s, my hair has gotten more and more coarse and frizzy. Insanely coarse and wirey with random kinks in the coarse strands — no hairspray, frizz cream, or oil has been able to calm it. I’ve tried deep conditioners too. I have 0 hair skills - are frizzy ponytails my only option?

like

I moved out to the suburbs about 7 months ago. Between that and the pandemic I have lost touch with friends. I reach out as get “yea let’s hang” but when it comes to making definite plans, crickets. It’s been hard because work is so busy and I have my partners children around too. Struggling to reconnect now that ppl are hanging out again and I don’t get invited. Feeling super isolated and lonely.

like

What are your home office must-haves? I want to spruce up my office and have a stipend from my firm to help with office furniture and tech. I already have dual monitors, a decent webcam, and a ring light. Would love to hear others’ suggestions!

like

Fellow millennial lawyers: tell me, in general terms, 1 or 2 clients you acquired and how you acquired them. I feel like the suggested strategies for developing business are always the same: network, build your brand (hate this phrase), market yourself on LinkedIn, etc. Does any of this work? Seems to me to that most business development comes from long-standing contacts (e.g. your childhood best friend is now CEO and needs legal services), so I’m curious how other attorneys developed business.

like

Any females in this bowl leave a midsize or large firm to go solo? I’d like to hear all the pros!!

likehelpful

I’m a mid level associate interviewing in Atlanta (non-lit). What are people’s thoughts on suit v. dress/blazer combo for interviews?

like

Question for moms. I’m getting married next year and have several close family members that will have babies ages 8-11 months old by then. What are some ways I can support the moms and make it an enjoyable experience for them? We have a separate room at the venue that I was thinking could be offered to the parents to use, or potentially hiring a babysitter for them (either at the venue or back at the hotel). I would love for the families to be able to come, as it is out of town.

like

Moving to Los Angeles soon from the East coast. I’m interested in casual dating when time permits. Early to mid 20s. What would be a good location for my apartment with bars, clubs, other single people in close proximity that will also allow me to get to DTLA without too much of a hassle?

like

What are pros and cons of working for a government legal department and is it a good lateral move for career advancement?

like

Someone please tell me where in tf I need to drop my Hinge location in the DMV area to find my person. I’m in Baltimore and am getting frustrated/losing hope after only finding guys whose time would’ve been better spent focusing on themselves to be emotionally available and ready to date rather than dating as a distraction. I’m convinced I’m going to die alone. And if you have a single guy friend in that area who is a genuinely good person, please let me know 😂

likefunny

Any of you married your co-worker (lawyer, for clarity) and both of you decided to stay in the same firm afterwards? How is/was it and do you recommend it?

like

I was fired last month after a short time at the company. I knew things weren't going well- it was a terrible culture fit & I was also planning my exit strategy. They wouldn't give me specific reasons other than to vaguely say it was performance related. I agree I made a few dumb mistakes (none of any dire consequence) but what kills me is that I tried really hard. I don't want to change careers but I have a deep seeded fear that no matter how hard I try, I will never be a "good attorney".

like

How would you feel about being proposed to on your birthday? Special surprise or overshadowing your day?

likefunny

Asian food is the best. Might be because I’m Asian and grew up eating it.

like

For the past 6+ months, I've been thinking of getting an LV neverful MM for work, but I was wondering if anyone has a Valentino rockstud or the YSL shopping tote? Is the neverfull the best option for work (and carryon travel)?

like

Anyone feel uncomfortable with personality tests being administered in their firm/office? I understand how they can be useful and entertaining, but they’re also another way to categorize and unfairly judge employees and coworkers.

likehelpful

Signs I’m getting old: I tripped and fell, and somehow partially tore my ACL. Have to figure out if I want surgery, and how to tell the team—at the very least, I’ll need a ton of PT. I’m a first year associate and the only woman on all of my teams, so I’m freaking out about how this is going to reflect on me. I know I’m overthinking this, health comes first, etc…but I’m still so scared to tell people.

like

In your experience, how accurate has the Robert Half Salary Guide been? Small law in LCOL area. Fourth year associate trying to figure out appropriate salary range. I’ve heard the 1/3 of your billable time value as well? Any guidance appreciated.

like

Does anybody find it helps to “get ready” in the mornings with wfh? I still want to be comfortable with athleisure, but I’m wondering if fixing my hair and maybe a little makeup will make a difference mentally. Feeling so burnt out and unmotivated lately.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal