Hey ladies - I’m trying to better myself and through therapy have realized I need to work on my confidence, self-love, and the standards I set (e.g. how I allow other people to treat me). Any recs for books, practices, videos, etc that have helped you through your own journeys? Appreciate it!

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I had to work on a lot of similar things. I don't have books to recommend (which is odd because i read a lot), but I did a lot of meditation, reflection, talking with my therapist, developing a gratitude practice, and journaling to understand my thought process. Re: self love, I talked to myself with kindness. Instead of looking in the mirror and wondering why my thighs are so big and why I can't lose the last 10 pounds, I changed it to my thighs are strong and muscular and allow me to climb mountains, to squat hundreds of pounds, to walk miles on end, to my body can create life! I allowed myself to be prideful in my accomplishments - I wasn't dismissive nor did I diminish what I've done. Re: how you allow others to treat you, lean into curiosity and ask yourself why. Question everything, and you'll get answers back in time. I've been in therapy for 4ish years, and only this week did I realize I now fully trust myself. I used to allow other peoples opinions/advice guide and influence my choices, and how incredible it feels to hear something I don't agree with and say thanks, but no thanks. You've got this!!

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Getting to root of what you're looking to solve is critical; and the answer won't come in a short period of time. Through therapy, I learned that the majority of my insecurities/anxiety stem from having a narcissistic parent. Being an avid reader, my therapist recommended a few academic books on the topic, and I sought out more books (less academic ones) to help me learn more about how a narcisstic relationship impacts children into adulthood. My therapist helped me understand why this dynamic led to a lack of self love and led to me not trusting myself and more, and we talked about how we can cultivate my relationship with myself. In essence, she told me to date myself. Do things I love and lean into it, take myself out on dates, find new things and experiences I might enjoy. At the core, she was teaching me that the one and most important relationship you'll ever have in life, is the relationship you have with yourself.

I think being intentional about the people you surround yourself with will be a lot more impactful than anything else.

There’s something called the Personal Development School - there are free videos on YT and there are paid courses. The name sounds generic but the woman that runs it is great - it’s attachment theory focused but there are courses for boundaries, emotional mastery, setting goals etc. also there’s a Facebook group for people doing the courses. Would recommend trying it out to see if it helps you

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