Hey ladies my boyfriend and I both work in firms...busy schedules... Today I closed my stuff and said that's it I'll continue tomorrow..bought dinner and got him something he needed from the pharmacy.

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I don’t think that’s appropriate behaviour. You wouldn’t invite a guest over and then spend the whole evening ignoring them. I think you have a right to be pissed

likeuplifting

Also her effort was way > than his which is always no bueno

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Did you ask if it was a good night for him before you made plans that worked for you?

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Reading this thread makes me so happy because it’s wholesome support for you to not accept crumb behaviour and set the standard for how you want to be treated 💕

likeuplifting

It IS a lack of consideration — rude to not prioritize time w you after asking you to come over

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So much support here! Thank you ladies!

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Perhaps setting some boundaries would help. Like, if he had said he needed to work but would you mind picking up X for him at the pharmacy and then spending the night, that would be easier to accept and reduce misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Next time he asks you to come over, ask him the plan. Is he still going to need to work while you’re there, etc. that way, no assumptions and it’s clear. Then you can decide.

likehelpful

He’s a grownup though. And it’s her BF, not some guy she’s just started dating. Why is it on her to clarify? If he has legit needs he’s a big enough boy to express them. I spent a lot of time making excuses for guys like this and it’s a waste of her time. And then he has the nerve to imply she’s over-emotional? Pfft - no. She deserves a grown-ass man who isn’t using her.

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I used to do that with my husband. He told me his expectations up front and how I made him feel. If he value your feelings, he will listen. Make sure he is aware that you (both of you) are making plans for that night

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I show up he is in the phone for the first 10-15 minutes...on his laptop for the next hour...soon enough it's 9pm and I didn't even get a chance to spend time with him... I get pissed off and leave...and now he says I'm hot-tempered.. Im so sad. Not sure he gets it? I just feel like it's a lack of respect and consideration...

Unless it was a life or death emergency (which he should have explained) he wasn’t prioritizing you over work which probably could have waited. Now some guys do this when they want to break up with you but want to make you the bad guy. Does this guy describe all of his exes as “crazy”? I think we’ve just determined the common denominator

helpful

He is the one who told me to come over

Then that is messed up. Next time, he can call postmates if he needs food delivery

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