Hey Mamas, my 3.5 yr old asks to use potty at home but doesn’t ask in school. Accidents happen in school on a weekly basis. The response is “I don’t know” when we ask why don’t you ask to use potty just as you ask Mom and Dad. This is getting frustrating. Any advice and tips on how to handle this? TIA

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Usually at that age they are so focused on whatever they’re doing or playing with that by the time they realize they need to go, it’s too late. At our preschool they regularly take small groups to the bathroom throughout the day, or stop class to ask if anyone needs to use it so that there’s no long periods where a child is holding their bladder.

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This. Preschool teachers should be scheduling potty breaks, not expecting 3 yos to advocate for themselves.

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If your child is like my daughter; they are likely having too much fun at school and simply don’t think about the potty in time. We brought a potty watch for our daughter when she started potty training. The watch has a timer that goes off every X minutes (we started with 15 minutes when we started and then increased the time as she got better about recognizing the signs). Even though it was an alarm on the watch, I think it gave her a sense of control in the situation which seems to have helped.

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Talk to the teacher to see if they’ve noticed a pattern to when she has the accidents. Like is she skipping one of the scheduled potty breaks because she’s busy playing (such that the teacher needs to “insist” she goes). Or maybe it’s during nap time and she can’t hold it that long. At that age, preschools typically have all the kids go at regular intervals (they don’t just wait for the kids to say they need to go), but maybe there’s a tweak the teacher can make to your daughter’s routine to eliminate the accidents.

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Also in general "why" qs are not as easy. What or how lead to better kid results. "What is making it difficult to go to the potty? How can we and your teacher help?" - > more productive!

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