Hi everyone, I need your opinion/help
I met a girl 2months into my 6months exchange in NYC. i enjoyed her company and we had fun together. She is really busy (IBD) but we made time for each other, so it was late night and weekend hangout. when i was leaving to my home country in UK, we said we would try to make it work.
Now that i am home, it has become difficult. I have lots of friends (girls), therefore i am always with them when not working, and she doesn't like it much as my ex is one (TBC)

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The logistics behind this seem rough with the distance. It doesn’t seem like she is ready to commit to anything mainly because you’re not in the US long term yet. I don’t think it’s fair for her to “wait” 18 months for you to get to the US. The only way I can see this potentially working is if you are both down to visit each other, align on long term plans on where to live, and are willing to sacrifice a bit till y’all are physically together.

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we'll definitely see each other every 2 months. But i don't think she is willing to sacrifice

Well, try to put yourself in her shoes. If she were to constantly tell you about her meeting other guys, how would you feel about it? You two agreed that you'll try to make it work. Then you both better walk your talk, if you wish to build mutual trust. Otherwise, don't be surprised that she's now reluctant re: how she feels about you. Ask yourself these questions:

- How is she different (unique) than the girls you currently hang out with in UK?
- Is she easily replaceable?
- Does this 6-year gap between you really matter? Mind you, it can seem quite high now, that in your 20s...but trust me, men in their 40s and older are generally looking for girls much younger than them...and I'm talking about 10-20 years difference, not just 6.
- Do you see yourself in a long-term relationship with her...does she seem to have the qualities that you're looking for in "The One"?

Depending on your answers to the above, you can decide what's best for you - and whether it's worth pursuing her or not. Just don't lead her on...better be honest from the get-go.

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Also, i am a woman, so like it's a very long-time friend group from undergrad and business school. And she also hangs out with her friends when she is not working like every single day and I let her be. Because for me she also needs to maintain a social life ad doesn't have to talk to me al the time

It’s a tough situation for sure no matter the circumstances. I don’t see anything wrong with having girl that are friends but I would say you need to tread carefully about hanging out with your ex. You definitely need to listen to what she needs and she needs to know what you need. If you need to hangout with your ex without your gf feeling some type of way, then I’d suggest you letting your gf go.

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She doesn't even tell or know what she wants :(

She says she is not jealous , but she also comment sometimes on my outings and feels like I talk about them 50% of the time… which I stopped.
She was supposed to visit me in 3 weeks, but told me yesterday she is trying to understand how she feels about me, and is figuring it out.
I really like her, and she knows it. I want her to come see me and we can hang in UK. I can also transfer to the US in 18months.
But I understand it might be long for her. Also she is very young (23F), I am a bit older 29. Maybe I should let her have more experience, enjoy her NYC life. I don’t know.

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