Hi everyone :) I’ve been with my SO ~1 yr. & I’ve really been thinking of him as my perfect life partner. We are so compatible, and I laugh so much with him. Recently tho, a few small things came up..

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How can he know you'd like those things if you never tell him? You mentioned yourself you both just have different styles of showing you care for one another, so it's not like he doesn't care at all. Chances are he's at least try if you mention it to him.

Overreating wouldn't be having a conversation about it - it'd be dumping him without even letting him know what's bothering you. You're the one in the the relationship. Just talk to him? You're in a long term relationship so I don't understand why you can't just talk to him.

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I think these things matter. I experienced similar. When I brought it up, it turned out he just wasn’t that into it and also had trouble connecting emotionally. He broke it off. I am glad I know now rather than a year from now. When you say he loves you so much, how does he show and tell you? Honestly, if my guy could not have started to do some of those things to show connection to my daily life, I would have ended up finding it elsewhere b/c it is very important to me. Definitely bring it up! He might say “Oh! Wow thank you for sharing” and then surprise you with texts and questions about your daily life. Godspeed!

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So exactly the point you said about daily life, that’s important to me and I need that too :)

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It’s been said in here before but it’s so true- we all have different love languages. Def tell him yours! I value acts of service but my husband wants words of affirmation. I recognize his needs and try to do the activities that makes him feel loved. If your guy loves you he should do the same.

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Yeah definitely! We did that a bit ago and we both have physical touch followed by quality time, which works super well when we’re in the same city but is not ideal at the moment. I think they might translate differently for each of us when in long distance, which I’ll bring up again

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I agree with others, let him know this is something you need. I would never think to do these things, i’ll tell my SO of plans in advance but the day of I’m so focused on what I’m doing it doesn’t occur to me text him at all in the morning. And vice versa if I know he’s busy I wouldn’t text him. But he does these type of things, texts every night and morning if we’re apart so I try to respond and the do the same once in a while, but I’ve communicated to him that that kind of constant checking in stresses me out so he knows not to expect it 😅

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Very helpful to hear the other side and try to relate thank you :)

For context, we’ve been in LDR for a while. Anyway, I noticed that I always say to him like “hope you have a good day doing x y z” or “hope dinner is good with person a” and I text him when I’m going to sleep and waking up. He doesn’t do that stuff. I’d like if he did but I feel like it’s such a small detail that it’s silly to bring up. I’d just like to know that like hey I know this is your schedule today and I’m sending good vibes. Is that too silly to bring up?

He loves me so much and shows it and says it in different ways I know, but I’m realizing that I miss those close details. Also for example, yesterday we were talking about something sad in my life, he had to run to go to a GOT thing w his roommates, so cut off the phone call and then didn’t call me back. Later I asked how GOT thing was and he said he didn’t go and was making music w his guitar instead. I guess the convo was kind of over but not fully and he left abruptly.

Today I’m going to have a sad day with something and he didn’t send any words of encouragement or support or like I’m sorry that’s happening and lmk if need anything.

Are these things too much to ask? I can’t tell if it’d come across as being ridiculous. Should I accept we won’t be compatible on this? Break up? If not ridiculous to ask for, how could I bring it up? Thanks ❤️❤️

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Yeah, I'd definitely let him know and see how he reacts. Most likely, he probably doesn't know this is what you need. If he seems unwilling to do these things to make you happy and show you love in your love language, then I'd really think and reflect whether it's a good match. My fiance and I have different love languages, but we're both willing to make effort to make each feel loved. I've told my SO about how I wish he would do little things like texting me in the morning and when he thinks of me, and while he would never have thought to do so before, he does because it makes me happy. Good luck! Hope that you guys have a fruitful conversation from this and come out more in sync as a result.

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SC2 have you ever had any issues like ZSA1 described in that your bf feels like you’re making him check in? I’m in a similar situation as OP and worry about my guy doing it because I ask him too, but secretly feeling burdened by it. Also, how long in did you have that convo?

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Thanks everyone :) will definitely discuss with him

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