{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Hi everyone, quick question: SO and I were applying to some home loan together and he asked what my date of birth was so he could enter it in. Is this normal or does it just show that they don’t care? We’ve been together for 5 years now. Thanks! I’m leaning towards the latter so slightly hurt lol how would you feel?", "post_id": "6075f9d33429ee0021a54a44", "reply_count": 35, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f7fc5fae9f610010f862d9", "bowl_name": "Women in Accounting" }

Hi everyone, quick question: SO and I were applying to some home loan together and he asked what my date of birth was so he could enter it in. Is this normal or does it just show that they don’t care? We’ve been together for 5 years now. Thanks! I’m leaning towards the latter so slightly hurt lol how would you feel?

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I mean, does he remember your birthday in general? My husband is a day or two off on my birthday because he’s forgetful and not a hard numbers person (unlike me), but he always tried to do something special.

likehelpful

He might have wanted to confirm the year! I’m pretty good with month/day for most people but I typically have to do some mental math to get to the year...

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Oh nah, he remembered the year but just can’t remember the rest.

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He probably just wanted to make sure he didn’t get it wrong. It’s an important application haha.

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I have been married for 18 years and I still double check my husband’s birthdate when I put it down on important documents.

likefunny

Haha. Same here but just 15 years. I don’t trust my memory for anything important, but his birthday is on my calendar with a 2 week reminder so haven’t missed it yet!

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. We still double check each other’s birthdays when filling out these kinds of forms.

likefunny

Same with us! Married - share a name - still double check. I also ask my husband even though if I thought about it, I’d know - for some people, “birth date” triggers a different reaction that “birthday” and they double check. Also - home loan application is SUUUUPER IMPORTANT so I’d be more worried if he didn’t triple check. Please don’t let this worry you!

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My mom has a charm bracelet full of charms for every year my dad forgot her birthday. It’s a running joke in the family. They’ve been together over fifty years. He still has no clue what day it is. We have to call and remind him every year. I wouldn’t take it personally.

likefunny

That is really cute! 😊

Thank you so much everyone! You all make me feel better. Maybe because I just somehow remember important people’s birthdays that I interpret not knowing it as uncaring. So I just wanted to confirm that it’s normal to not know these things :) but he does seem to remember his best friend’s birthday just fine though.

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My husband has my birthday as a reminder in his calendar. He doesn’t know it. But he does what he can to remember. Is there a pattern of him not caring? If this is a one off, let it go.

likehelpful

Just to add in. Not my spouses birthday (don’t have one) but I know my immediate family’s birthdays and I still ask when filling out forms for them just to make sure it’s right.

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I can never remember my husband’s birthday personally. I mean I know the month and year but the date just always slips my mind.

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Normal if it’s on an application (why not confirm with you as the SME Haha), normal if he knows generally +\- a few days for presents lol

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I am mortified that so many people do not remember their SOs birthdate. They are supposed to be your person. Do you have their cell number memorized in case you lose your phone?

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EY3 Ditto!!! 😂😂 I also have my dad’s cell phone memorized by heart but he was the first person in our family to get one. Have had it memorized since 2001

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My husband asks me for mine (Christmas Eve),🤦🏼‍♀️ He has a hard time remembering the year 😂 He even asks me how old HE is 😂😂 Don’t get offended.

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When filling out any government forms or major applications I confirm DOB just because 😂 even though I definitely know it

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I don’t understand, how could someone not remember or make an effort to remember? It seem acceptable to do that?

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Honest to god the only reason I remember my bf’s bday is cause it’s the day before my mom’s lol I’m super bad with dates and numbers (at work too oooops 🥲)

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My husband went to a pharmacy to pick up my prescription and had to call me to ask what my birthday is. I did not take it personally because I know he loves me. He is horrible with numbers - I am not sure he even has my cell phone memorized. For something this important, I would triple check even if I knew it by heart. Does he know the month? If he didn’t even know the month I would be annoyed

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Haha I get my mom and husbands birthday mixed up all the time. One of their birthdays is October 6 and the other October 8

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Does anyone else feel that their SO doesn’t love them if they don’t remember your birthday?

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I don’t feel that way at all - but I think it comes down to what’s important to you and what you remember. Remembering stuff isn’t my skill set - I have the reminder in my phone, but frankly - memorizing dates and numbers is really hard. I love my husband endlessly, and my crappy memory doesn’t take away from that.

likeuplifting

Was he just confirming the year or your actual birthday. I think this odd either way.

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I wouldn’t be too pressed about it. I forget my own age / birthday sometimes lmao. It happens to all of us.

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