Hi I have a personal question. My bf recently said that he sees himself living forever on one coast while I see myself on the other. Has anyone faced this before? How did you address it?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Yes! I live on the east coast, bf on the west coast. We met in CA when I worked there. I thought I would stay in CA forever, but moved home to ny just in time to quarantine with family during the pandemic for what I thought would only be short term.

I was planning to move back to CA, and so sure of it, and unexpectedly realized I’d rather be here in NY. Then just as I made that realization, he had to move back to the east coast for work!

You never know how life can change ❤️

likeuplifting

This was really nice to hear ❤️❤️

Have 2 homes and split your time according to best season for each coast!

likeupliftingfunny

I don’t know how old you are, but can you really decide your whole life just like that? How do either of you know what will happen in 5 years, 15 years, 30 years? So much can change, circumstances change, people’s needs change, personalities even change. If you really see a life with this person, I wouldn’t consider this a relationship-ending issue. You can figure it out in the years ahead and find some compromise as you grow together.

like

Kind of. My partner originally wanted to move out to the west coast together (we are both east coast natives but our home states are far apart). I was down to go with him to build a future together. Eventually I brought up the fact that I would rather be on the east coast to be closer to my family, and he felt the exact same way but was scared to tell me so. We are on the same page now — goal is to move together to an east coast city midway between our home towns. I guess in my case, being honest but showing that I am open to hearing him out worked, and luckily we had been feeling the same way.

like

If either of you wanna move to either coast but can still work where you do want to work in terms of you like the company and everything you’re seeking for then that’s good. But you have to make sure you’re both making equal efforts in trying to see what works out for both of you guys. If you’re the only one looking up jobs on one coast and he’s not then that’s a red flag. Also if you truly enjoy working where you are and the people and your career is heading in the direction you anticipated then I wouldn’t leave just because unless your company is a remote job then that solves itself. Either way I wouldn’t move for anyone unless I truly wanted to because then it’s a lot of pressure on the relationship itself. Your personal goals, lifestyle, and relationship should have some sort of balance.

like

Yes. I left him. And carried on with my life. He decided a few years later he wanted to live near me and moved.

like

How long have you been together? And are budgets ever an issue?

My boyfriend is bicoastal and we make it work. But to be honest, it only works because I’m independent and have work flexibility, and because he’s very wealthy (never have to think about traveling to and from—and comfortably in first—and we vacation together a lot). Very importantly, he wants to make NYC his homebase once his kids graduate high school. Right now he’s here 1 week out of the month. So there’s consistency and light at the end of the tunnel.

I wouldn’t do it with anyone else.

Related Posts

Recruiters—if you have no creative training, how do you judge which books get sent to the creative directors?

likesmartfunny
like

It’s my first month as a CD. I took the title bump by moving to a different company, going from publisher to a small agency.

It’s been communicated I’m responsible for setting the vision of the team and its next steps. Other than my individual team members’ growth plans, what else am I expected to communicate with my boss?

I have the rest of the job down, the creative & client building side. Just a little lost on the deliverables on this ask. This was not something a CD at prev company.

like

Anyone out there living off of (or able to live off of) their dividends? This is my financial goal but I’d like to know if anyone is doing it. What’s your allocation? I have mostly REITs

like

Just heard that my district will have classroom and live-recording learning. I’m thankful because I now can feed my family, my newborn and a recent-sponsored wife! I’m scared because I’m almost 50 and I’m afraid I might catch the virus and die leaving behind my 1 month baby and a wife who is not legal in the state yet! The USCIS or Trump’s dept. thinks she’s not good enough to be in the US!! We applied for green card and SS card since August 2019!

Is cognizant have good number of java projects ?

like

I have been an HR assistant for 2 years in the public sector 80% staffing 20% recruiting, I want to break out into the private sector and have 5+ interviews but never seen grab there attention. Recruiters have told me that I interview well, Any Advice?? I have also gotten a Hr management Cert and working on my PHR.

like

Ever broke up with someone but have a strong feeling the person is the one for you and you were right?

like

“At your best you still won't be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.”

likeuplifting

Need KPMG referral for workday technology. Anyone can help?

like

Thoughts on the Sheraton Kauai? I’m considering the offer they sent. Is Kauai a nice island?

like

How do you make the most out of your Amex platinum rewards?

like

Anybody interested in a volunteer opportunity? I need help editing videos for YouTube & social media and would love some extra hands

funnylike

Salary for a CA fresher in TIAA India as an internal control analyst

Anyone have a trusted real estate agent they’d recommend? Selling in Buckhead and buying in Gwinnett county (or maybe East Cobb), could use on both sides. Thanks

like

Wrapped up a project today. Exec at my client invited me to fly out to have dinner with her next week. "I'll pay." You know what that means - offer letter coming soon!

like

Where can I start learning about retirement in America? I’m naive on the topic and originally from another country so I need reliable learning resources. I’m 31 and don’t have anything yet, except 6months in emergency fund and I started traditional 401k a few months ago, but can’t max it out currently as I make less than $70k right and single, so I’m currently putting 6% on a targeted retirement age portfolio.

like

Hello folks, one thing kinda confused me is did you pay tips when you moved in? My Super was nice while we are checking the apartment, but he acted weird with different attitude ever since we moved in(without tipping him). I thought we will only tip doorman/super during holidays? Thanks!

like

New associate (started Oct.) I'm still getting ramped up on workload even though I keep asking for more work. Find myself frequently with nothing to do so leave around 5. Just enjoy while it lasts?

like

Additional Posts in Women in Advertising

Any designers interesting in freelance work? My friend works at a podcasting company (only podcasts about marketing so not like suuuper entertaining). They need a few designers in rotation to make 1/1

like

I’ve found myself placed in a strategic leadership position despite not having a strategy background due to consistent layoffs. Any tips on how to grow my strategic chops? Books, newsletters?? Help!

like

Working on a campaign and I wrote the first version of the script that was chosen. My CW partner crafted it and then I made revisions. It’s been a super collaborative process and so rewarding. We’re both so proud of this piece. It’s manifesto-y and the writing is what makes it sing, so it hurts a little (or a lot) when my partner gets tons of praise from like, THE TOP, for the writing and doesn’t acknowledge me. Do ADs ever get co-writing credits? Do I just need to get over my ego? *big exhale*

like

I presented with my CCO in a pitch and it went really well. When we left the meeting he kissed me on the top of my head (in a patriarchal way, not sexual at all)... I froze and ignored him. Thoughts?

like

New moms returning to work and trying to balance pumping with our crazy busy hours work hours I just started a bowl
Code: iod4i

like

Has anyone ever done interview coaching or anything similar? Looking for resources or tips because I’ve had the chance to interview at some great companies but I keep blowing it...

like

Wunderman Thompson NY, how’s WLB, culture, learning/promotion opportunities?

like

Just wanted to celebrate a little for completing my first week as an ACD and first week back after maternity leave.

likeuplifting

Would you take a job for less salary if it was a less toxic environment than your current situation?

like

I went to a “women in leadership” training and what was supposed to empower me toward a clear idea of where I want to go in my career, crystallized how unhappy I am at my current job. Spent the...

like

I’ve never made “a book” and want to apply for art director roles. Where do I look for inspiring examples?

like

How do you deal with passive aggressive male managers who exclude you from opportunities because they’re pissy about something (but you don’t know what)?

like

Wanna get quick reminder on the sexism in this industry? Try having a conversation about Elizabeth Warren in the politics bowl.

likefunnysmart

I’m actively searching & looking for a new strategist position since my current agency is mismanaging not only myself but the relationship with the client. It’s a dumpster fire.

I’m wondering what questions I should look out for and be aware of as I find myself getting past the HR screens pretty quickly.

Also - if your agency is remote or LA based and hiring, feel free to let me know in the comments as well :)

like

“Returnships” - helpful or offensive?

So what’s the protocol on being harassed by a former employee - one that reported to you but that the company on the whole fired. For harassment, no less. This guy just can’t let it go after YEARS.

I'm applying for a job at Company X. Is there a way to see what web/print advertising/collateral they have produced in the past? The work is not shown on their external agency's site. It's a smallish company.

I've done searches for Company X but have not been inundated with ads on Google like usual. I did find commericals on Youtube.
Thanks!

like

How long into your new job do you think it’s appropriate to ask for a raise?

like

Im in a junior position, have excellent feedback, work hard. I make very little $. I had 2 job offers and told my current company I couldn’t afford to stay there. They immediately matched. 4 months later I followed up and the timing of the adjustment will now align with the timing cost of living increases for inflation which apparently I’m ineligible for. Should this exempt me from a cost of living increase due the adjusted salary 5 months after we agreed to this?

like

I got an offer that’s seems too good to be true! Now I’m having second thoughts that I’m not ready? I think I’m just being too self critical?! Did I sell myself more than I should have and am I good enough to deserve this? 😳😳

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal