Hi šŸ , I was asked to give a reference for a fellow analyst that I went to college with. For context, this person and I graduated and started working at similar times but I have a terrible impression of him. Like really nasty and unprofessional to anyone who doesn't benefit him directly. A manager is about to staff him but she asked me first and I'm at a crossroads. I don't want to screw them over but I would never want to work with them myself. What do I say? Manager input is helpful here.

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Just say that you donā€™t know them well and canā€™t speak to their work. Never bad mouth someone, it will never help you or them. Donā€™t make an enemy if you donā€™t have to.

likesmarthelpful

Fair point; I suppose if he's truly terrible the manager will see it themselves

If you haven't worked with them, just say you haven't and say that as a result of having never worked with him, you can't give a reference. I have refused to give references to people I haven't worked with, and it's never come back.

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Say something nice but also express your reticence in a tactful way. The manager will appreciate that. This guy sounds like a bad apple who doesn't need to be rewarded for his bad behavior.

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Thanks for this. Could you maybe provide an example?

Don't give a reference, use the "haven't worked with him out". Any competent manager can read that. You give a good reference and he's a jerk it's on you. Give a bad reference and he matured you look bad.

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ā€œThanks for reaching out! Yes, Dan and I went to college together but that was a few years ago and Iā€™m not sure what heā€™s been working on recently. Wish I could be of more assistanceā€ and end scene. A non answer is an answer. Depending on how important the project/role is, the manager will either pick up the phone and poke at what you didnā€™t want to put in writing or theyā€™ll go with someone that people can vouch for.

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Sure thing. Good luck and donā€™t stress too much!

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Something similar happened to me. Got a request for a reference out of the blue from a friend who I actually never worked with. We worked in the same organization but not together. Compounded by the fact that I think she is a liabilityā€”she has a substance abuse issue. She asked me to blatantly lie and say that I had worked with her, and about work that she hadnā€™t actually done. I responded to the reference honestly with what I knew about her. I didnā€™t go out of my way to say anything negative.

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keeping personal stuff aside...if he is good at work ...give positive feedback....if he is really unprofessional or inefficient alert them honestly....

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