Hi! Im in desperate need of some relationship advice! I just graduated (21 yo) and am relocating to a new city for my job in October. My boyfriend graduated last year and is taking a few years off before applying to medical school, but a few months back he decided he’d relocate to my city so we could live together. We’ve been cohabitating for the past year, but we each still had our own places. I really want the relationship to work but I feel like I’m too young to be living with a SO, (cont’d)

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I'm actually curious what was the reason of the 8 months breakup period and how did you two come back to each other, that might provide a bit more context

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Is it possible this is less about feeling bad about asking him to move and more about you wanting your independence in the new city to come into your own?

You mentioned feeling too young to live with an SO - which could be telling you something.

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and I’m nervous about starting my career and managing living with him. At the same time, I feel like it’s unfair of me to expect him to move to my city and then not live together. He takes things super personally so I don’t know how to bring this up without upsetting him. Also, I’d appreciate any advice as to if it’s too soon to live together. (For context, we’ve been together for almost 2 years with an 8 month break up during)

When I first started consulting out of undergrad, I was really glad I was doing my own thing bc it was a lot to take in. The first year in consulting, I put in a lot of effort into forming good working and personal relationships with my team and my top priority was to establish myself at my new company.

In your situation, I’d probably move to the new city on my own first and after 6 months, reconsider him moving in. This might be an unpopular opinion, but if you get in a serious relationship when you’re young, it’s important to be able to prioritize your individual developments above your relationship occasionally (this will definitely take effort from both sides). When he goes to med school, he’ll be going through something similar as well.

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