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You can ask the seller to pay for it, add the closing costs onto the loan, or even split the closing costs with the seller. There’s options
Let’s me know how you get a seller to pay when you are refinancing.
If you’re around $3-4K I think that’s fine?
Most closing costs are standard. Especially title insurance.
What you shop is the rate and points (if any).
Your lender will tell you which fees you can shop around for. And you should. I used the same title company as my original mortgage for my refi, and they gave me a discount as a repeat customer.
If you have enough equity, you can also request they skip the appraisal.
I think I paid $5k for the bank closing costs not including the escrow monies they lumped in. If you want the lowest costs, make sure to get a quote from credit unions.
You can’t avoid title fees - that’s standard and the price is dependent on who the title company is on the property.
For insurance- during the closing process you can look shop around for home insurance quotes, and request the escrow company to send payments to that insurance.
Also make sure that the insurance company give you as many discounts as possible, for example Farmers Insurance has a discount for CPA’s, Geico for belonging to an Alumni association
Hard to shop around they are pretty standard. If you are looking to not pay cash directly, One option you can do if you'd rather have the cash is a no cost refi. They'll just roll the costs into your mortgage.
Use a real estate attorney and they can be the title agent. My experience has been that this saves money over bank (Wells Fargo) estimated fees.