Hi, just joined this bowl! I have an AH and things have gotten pretty serious this year. He started on and off with recovery always asking my help to try 30 days sober which I do to support but he consistently fail and avoids AA. I have been doing Al-Anon and it’s very helpful. I relate in most stories, but sometimes I feel so different from the people there (mid class religious housewife vs me an LGBT atheist consulting from CA). Does anyone have a meeting to recommend or has been in my shoes?

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Hi PwC, thanks for joining! Does “AH” = Alcoholic Husband? I haven’t heard that specific acronym before.

That’s great that you’re going to Al-Anon, and honestly I can’t think of a better option. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I’m always told “look for the similarities, not the differences.” I felt very different when I first came to AA, but slowly I realized that although the other people in the room might look different and have vastly different lives, I felt exactly how they felt. I’ve also been to a handful of Al-Anon meetings and know that they also carry a powerful message.

I would see if the Al-Anon website has a list of public zooms, and perhaps you can check out several options and one will “click” for you. The beauty of zoom is you can listen in to a meeting anywhere in the world.

Finally, it might be eye opening if you were to get a copy of the AA Big Book and read through it. It might give some perspective on what your husband is going through, and it has some amazing dialogue around the idea of a Higher Power. I came into AA as an agnostic *at best*, and through the steps I had the spiritual awakening that the book talks about. I never wanted AA and I certainly didn’t want a Higher Power, and now 2.5+ years into sobriety I’ve come to realize that those two things are the most important things in my life.

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Thanks for your response and congrats for your 2.5+ years! It’s definitely a huge achievement! All the best.

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I have some great al-Anon meetings in Chicago! DM me and I’ll send you the links.

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