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I def think it’s possible to have both depending on what company you work for. It takes time to conceive and then 9+ months to grow a baby so that’s plenty of time to continue investing in your career. Biggest things that has helped me be able to focus on both is working somewhere that focuses on results. This has allowed me the flexibility to flex my hours as needed so long as I’m getting my work done. The pandemic/remote work has further enabled this. I also try to work for other parents as they tend to be more flexible/understanding.
You’re obviously unable to contribute while you’re out but I still managed to come back and receive “Very Strong” reviews upon my return up through my promotion a year after my return. My husband also got promoted while on paternity leave. I’m pregnant again right now and have found everyone one to be extremely supportive again.
My personal advice is to have a baby when your still young enough. Babies once they are around year or so have tremendous energy . So it’s nice to be in par with their energy and being young really helps. If this is your first baby, then I think 2 individuals taking care of one always easier than any other scenarios
I would say opposite.
For me, I didn’t know I wanted kids until I thought I was pregnant and wasn’t. I realized that I was a little bummed… so then I got my ladies. This feeling happens naturally- not intellectually.
For me it was when I was older.
And boy! I am so glad I waited.
I have the patience, the calm… I am their strength and yet, I can let go as well.
I have lived my life so I didn not resent them when my friends went out… I was ready to make the commitment to be the most boring human alive for the sake of creating a stable and predictable life for my kids.
The older I got, the more I was able to teach them.
And I have a super close friend. She had her kids right as she ramped yo her professional career. They are young..
It all worked out amazingly for them.
The key is this- we can not tell you what to do.
You need to shut your eyes and sit still for a while, until you can hear the still small voice within. That voice will tell you your own personal journey.
But make sure you are really ready to hear the answer…
Rising Star
Agree with everything above. Research says you get dinged for the potential of having children before you are pregnant. So you shouldn’t be worse off.
There is never a great time to have a baby, but waiting is high risk because it may take a while to conceive.
Hi!!
Let me just say that I only got a career because I had kids…
So, got pregnant and then joined a college ( engineering)
Junior year, had my second kiddo.
The major compromise to my career happened only because my job decided suddenly to become a traveling job and hotel stays were mandatory.
I have very happily raised my kids the way I want- I homeschooled them..
They went to school, and I am one of the most volunteering parents.
I am single. And I am the cybersecurity department lead.
Something to think about….
1. There are always shift positions.
2. There are always remote jobs
3. It is illegal to descriminate if you become a parent: any decent place will fully support you and will even share in the joy of having a child.
My co workers pretty much adopted my kids.
4. This is your LIFE. There are no rules.. period.
You want kids- you have kids.
5. Having kids will develop and mature you in a way you can not comprehend, and this will add depth and competency to your work.
You will become more disciplined and more reliable- more wise, and more compassionate. All advantages.
I love my job- I love my kids, my whole life is pretty much a success story from the perspective of satisfaction. Not enough money- working on that part.
Amazing!!! Super inspiring ❤
I will give you the advice that a good female leader gave me when I was married with no kids but considering - "there is no good time to have a baby, so any time is the best time."
You will figure out how to be a successful working mom. If you want kids, just go for it.
Don’t let the stigma scare you - I was very fortunate but for both of my kids I came back from mat leave with promotions and pay raises both times. I just told them that I was ready to come back in a better capacity. However this is with Canadian long term leave and a support system to handle this (and job flexibility). It definitely doesn’t have to be a hindrance.
There is no perfect time in your career to have a baby. It's a personal decision. I was 1.5 years into my role, receiving a high impact project not long before finding out I was pregnant. After announcing to my manager, I had plans to take max maternity leave and come back ready to drive the project and strive for promotion. It worked out just like that for me. My team was very supportive and accommodating while pregnant (doing risky work that required crouching or being on a ladder) and when I returned from mat leave (flex time).
I would suggest you start looking into your company policies around expecting parents, parental leave, employee assistance programs, etc. There should be a team dedicated to helping you ask/ answer questions and concerns. Also, check to see if there are employee resource groups dedicated to parenting or becoming a parent.
Hi OP! I worry about this too so you are not alone.
Pro
I have an 11 month baby and I would say - enjoy your wondrous 20’s, drink too much wine and have a lie-in on the weekend because definitely I miss all of those things…
BUT, I don’t think it has to hinder your career… I’m 3 months back at work and my manager is asking me to go for a promotion because they missed me so much when I was off. I have more drive than ever to progress in my career and that tenacity is clear to others too
Working moms tend to be tenacious at work and this is usually noticeable. I went back to work for the second time after by second baby and my drive was noticeable across my department. Unfortunately there were no opportunities for promotions so within a year a moved on to another organisation and I’m doing well. I’be been invited for a couple of promotions in the year that I have been there.
Remoteness!!!
I am currently on the same boat. So glad to see all these comments from wonderful women ❤️