{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Hi ladies, I’m 31 and engaged (been together for 8 years). My partner wants to have kids at some point and I’m open to the idea. We’re probably going to start trying in the next 12-18 months given my age and life stage. I don’t really feel ready although I’ve heard no one does. Has anyone overcome this? If so, how?", "post_id": "612f648d098c820022b8afdd", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Hi ladies, I’m 31 and engaged (been together for 8 years). My partner wants to have kids at some point and I’m open to the idea. We’re probably going to start trying in the next 12-18 months given my age and life stage. I don’t really feel ready although I’ve heard no one does. Has anyone overcome this? If so, how?

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Do you want to enjoy being married first for a few years before kids? 31 is very young and it kind of sounds like your partner is driving this timeline rather than you. It’s your body doing the work.

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Your obgyn can also do the same testing as a part of your yearly checkup and likely save you some money!

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It's not something to overcome. It's something you need to listen to.

Write down why you want kids and why you don't/are hesitant, then have a conversation to address them. Your partner isn't carrying or birthing a human; you are. And more than likely you'll carry the brunt of the child-related labor.

So be realistic and make sure you're fully invested and not just "overcoming" something that's valid.

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Agree with this. Talk about finances, childcare, household labor and management, education & schooling, extracurriculars, travel, hiring outside help or not, health & medical, how to maintain your marriage, and all the things you can think of. Also postpartum care & recovery for you, feeding/waking/changing baby, maternity AND paternity leave, etc. It’s no joke and committing to raising kids vs just “having a baby” is a long game.

Not sure I felt ready but I wanted kids and I turned 31 and said let’s do this!! I definitely wasn’t ready for number 2 but knew I wanted to give my girl a sibling. So here I am - turning 35 with a 2 year old and 9 month old and we are surviving ❤️

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It sounds like everything was totally lined up, congratulations! Thanks for being open and honest, it’s a relief to hear the other side

Hang out with friends who have kids! (Ideally if they’re in the 1-2 years old stage - so they’re still babies but super cute haha)

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I froze my eggs at 32. My partner and I are still debating though he’s convinced that we’ll eventually have one. IVF can be tough when you’re out of options so would recommend considering egg freezing if you can afford it and getting fertility test for both you AND your partner. We don’t talk about it enough but male fertility issues are real, especially among men of our generation.

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I didn’t feel ready but knew I wanted to have kids eventually and started feeling time pressure. I’m now 33, pregnant, still not feeling “ready” but excited and nervous all the same.

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Congratulations!! This is how I visualize my life in 2 years lol

Is husband open to embryo freezing to give you both time to decide? Earlier the better for embryo freezing

IVF isn’t heartbreaking; it’s magical. Not being able to conceive while for longing children, month after month, year after year… that’s heartbreaking.

And like poster above said, in this case you have no fertility issues, it’s purely a tool to buy you time until you decide if you’re ready to start a family.

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