Honest question for my desi 🐠. How many of you have a really good relationship with your MIL (specifically the women with their MIL). I am wondering if my wife and mother have a problem that is common to many or are they a minority.

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That’s an unsolvable chemistry equation, some think that they cracked it but sooner or later it will go out of balance. Just accept it and ask them to deal it between themselves.

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I don’t have a bad rship with my MIL, though I have no rship with her. She’s a perfectly nice person but has some unrealistic expectations of me that don’t make much sense to me. So I find every excuse that I can to not engage with her. Giving you a data point for the other side.

It is quite common.

Full disclosure; I get along with my MIL really well and we literally have nothing in common. And my mom and my wife have so much more in common but there is always some silly undercurrent that is going on for God knows why. Drives me crazy and sometimes sad but I guess it’s what we can call a design defect

Funny kpmg!! Your relationship with your MIL can’t be compared with your wife’s relationship with your mom.. Typically, the sons in law are treated way way better in homeland compared to Daughters in law.. Women go head over heals to please their son in law but would expect their DIL go head over heals to please them. The dynamic is completely different here. They won’t have the same expectations of you as they would have of their DIL.. Not saying your mom is like that.. talking about the patterns in general..

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At one point make it clear that you are making your own choices and decisions and its not your problem if one is not willing to adjust a little for other. Some spouses prefer the husband should completely cut off ties from his family and support blindly and some mothers want the Son to be in complete control over wife. You just do what is right, else you will get mad in this cold war.

It’s the ladies undercurrent! I had to do this as a bahu, you should go through the same mentality 🤦‍♂️

My MIL once complained that my knives were “too sharp”.... that’s just the tip of the iceberg of all the things I could not do right. Sadly, I’d say of me and my sister’s in law - I had the best relationship with her. Seriously, not sad that she died young - I know that is awful, but it is the truth.

What? Who died young? SIL?

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