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Chief
I’m attending a wedding via YouTube link this Saturday. Honestly I think that might be the way to go. The reception will be held at a later date when things are better (no date announced).
Ultimately it is up to you. But I’m happy I get to share in the special event from the comfort and safety of my home. And there’s a reception/party to look forward to in the future!
I attended a zoom wedding recently and it was wonderful. I really felt like I was part of the celebration even though I was virtual. Some people even dressed up and had champagne virtually to “celebrate”.
I think you can do zoom / video for the event, but I personally would keep it only to really close, important people who can’t attend. Asking dozens (or more!) people to be on zoom sounds very cringe.
For the deposits I would see if you can extend dates and throw yourself a big party or “delayed reception” when this is all done! I think a lot of people are moving to this plan and it sounds fun. Maybe even slightly less stressful than a “wedding reception.”
I think it’s a question of being self-aware enough to zoom invite people who actually want to see your actual wedding ceremony and vows. The extended family and friends you are less in touch with were probably willing to go to your in-person wedding pre-covid, but they also probably don’t really care if they see the act of you exchanging vows. And I know people can decline, but there’s a tinge of guilt there, and it also risks looking like a gift grab.
Show or feel comfortable. Vaccine rollout is slower than we’d hoped and we are losing steam. What are peoples thoughts on this? And please don’t tell me I’m irresponsible for having the wedding, we are having these thoughts for a reason
May 2021 here, postponed from Oct 2020. We're probs going to downsize to both sets of parents and siblings and leave it at that. Do the courthouse thing with them and dinner in someone's yard. Really the big question is whether or not our parents can get vaccinated before then so it's safer to travel. Won't get all our deposits back, but I'm tired of living in limbo.
Chief
Weddings that look more like pre-pandemic aren’t going to happen until 2022. Vaccines are rolling out really slowly and experts don’t anticipate have 70% of the USA vaccinated until October/November
We rescheduled from April to June 19th. It isn’t ideal but it was the only Saturday that my venue still had available that wasn’t thanksgiving. I negotiated a return of the deposits into the rescheduling. Now, if local rules don’t allow at least 100 people to be in our venue on June 19, I will only have to pay to reschedule the photographer. My fiancé remains hopeful about the date and I’m doubting it more every day but it’s going to come down to local restrictions. I would rather elope and then have a big reception later, than have a small wedding with my family (which sounds like my hell), but my fiancé hates the idea of paying so much “just for a big party,” so I don’t know how this will end.
We are going to see how things look in February/March and make the final call then.
Wedding planning is definitely not fun at this point and I kind of want to push to 2022 or skip it altogether, but he wants to start trying for kids ASAP because we are getting old 🤣
OP- it’s helpful to remind myself that this is still more than 6 months away. A lot can happen. And one of my bridesmaids planned her 300 person wedding in three months. It will be okay. Stay positive!
My wedding is in May (postponed from June 2020) not looking good for us either 😔
I just cancelled mine that was scheduled for July. We kept getting new restrictions on our venue and I just gave up. We are going to do an intimate ceremony with immediate family and then hopefully have a celebration(much more low key than we had planned, like BBQ) next year when things are more safe.
Elope
I feel your pain!
We were planning a July 2020 family-only wedding with a big reception with extended family and friends in Sept. 2020. When coronavirus hit, we postponed the party to Sept. 2021 and decided to just elope on our original July date so we didn't risk anyone getting sick. It was a great day, and we've been looking forward to celebrating with everyone this year, but we're now thinking of canceling our Sept. 2021 reception (even though it kills me to walk away from the deposits) because it won't be the fun party we want it to be even assuming everyone we invite gets vaccinated.
We're so happy we got married, even if it was just the two of us, and are willing to wait to celebrate when we know we can travel, dance, hug, share food, have family and friends explore the city the venue is in without social distancing and masks or risking anyone else's lives. Our next round of deposits isn't due until May, so we're going to wait a little while longer before canceling just in case things start to turn around or we can find a way to get those deposits back/postponed again.
D3 - If we're going to spend the money on a party, I'd like it to be as close to what we envisioned as possible. While I trust most of my family and friends to get vaccinated as soon as possible, roll out has been slow to date, there's at least one variant already floating around, and even if my whole guest list is vaccinated, it doesn't mean no one will carry it and/or infect the people in the city where we are hosting the event. Too many unknowns. Our venue and vendors have already brought up increasing restrictions and/or pricing to account for social distancing (ex. plated meals instead of buffet; mandatory outdoor, which means mandatory tent; increased staff, sanitation fees, and supplies; etc.) that I'd rather cut my losses on the deposits we've put down already and save up for the party we actually want. I'm holding out hope a little longer until our next round of deposits are due, but I'm not holding my breath we'll feel comfortable moving forward. Plus, the only date available when we postponed to this year was 9/11, which I'm not crazy about either...
By the looks of it, I would opt for an intimate wedding ceremony and dinner. We planned for a big wedding in Oct 2020 but venue guidelines kept changing. We were exhausted from planning and moving things around so we did a small one in Nov 2020. We used our photo/videographers and the rest of our vendors were willing to defer the deposits indefinitely for a future event. A lot of people were wondering if we were planning a bigger reception in the future and we told them no. But I think we’ll probably do some kind of vow renewal in a few years and combine it with our kid’s bday party so we can use the vendors.
Chief
I have a friend in Chicago who is a top wedding planner, and she says the trend is firmly towards “micro-weddings.” Very small guests lists of close family only, outdoor events, and splurging on photos, food, or parting gifts instead of additional guests.
Chief
Thank you for postponing. My brother is getting married in March in a huge ceremony in a county where ICU beds are 96% full right now. I'm just praying I can get vaccinated by then.
Just get married so you can use the tax benefit and when you can then have a ceremony and celebration. Don't let COVID slow your life down.
Lol spoken like a true accountant! (My dads an accountant so I totally know)
Got married in October of 2020 after 7 years of dating. (It was time). We had 12 people everyone took COVID tests. The rest of our guest list got to view the ceremony on Zoom and actually really liked it. It was great because we got to actually spend time with our guests, get better food, and everybody really felt like they were a part of the wedding versus being 1 in 300 and never seeing the bride and groom. It's cheaper, but also you'll get less money than an in-person wedding. Maybe in 5 years we will have a big celebration, but this was great for us (also so much less drama).
When is it exactly? I would wait out a solid 3-4 months to make the final decision. Things can change so fast in the best and worst way. And also, what type of wedding would that be? Is everything outdoor? Bottom line if you don’t feel confortable and think people around you won’t be as well, go for a smaller one. I personally attended one this summer (in my home country were rates were super super low); everything was outdoor and it was great.
June 19th in Charlotte, and the issue is it might be so hot here in June, so can’t have people outside for hours. We have talked about postponing to the fall to do something outdoors, but we have no idea what’ll work anymore and we are stuck in contracts with a ton of vendors
Chief
I think thoughtful ones will be a ceremony under 10 ppl who have all agreed to the same protocols, and we have a lot of pent up “ok NOW we party!” receptions to juggle in 2022 + 2023
I am also hearing of resort/reunion options, which is something we considered. Basically booking out a small resort or camp and having fam/friends who agree to protocols stay for a week
I’ve attended two funerals and a wedding through zoom this year and they weren’t that different. (Obviously aside from the pain of losing loved ones). But the lack of hugs, missing pieces of ceremony, lack of atmosphere, etc.... it’s like it didn’t happen for us on this side of things.
If it were me planning I would probably have the small ceremony w parents and siblings & do something bigger in a few years.
Spring 2021 wedding as well and we are doing micro, 50 people but likely only like 30-40 will show. All outdoors, pod seating, masks required. Honestly? Weddings as we know them will NOT be normal until late 2022. I mean talking about no masks, dancing, large groups etc? I hate to say it but no one is seeing that even in late 2021. Fauci has even said this as well...2022 (later) for any real kind of normalcy. Also I don’t know about y’all but I’m not waiting that long. Weddings are great but i personally cannot put my life on hold that long.
I know, it’s insane. I Think at this point it depends on the state. I’m in NY and it’s painfully slow. My parents (65 immunocompromised) just as of this week can now get the vaccine but try getting an appointment, it’s impossible. Supply can’t meet demand currently, so unless that changes drastically we are looking at an exacerbated timeline for all groups. Plus I’m in the last group with my fiancé, no underlying illness etc. I’m just hoping all our relatives can be vaccinated by our wedding, then I’ll feel light years better about it all. But the fauci comment was recent because just yday I did a google search on “weddings, vaccine, covid.” Lol