How are the NYC Asian fish dealing with all these senseless attacks? As a single Asian woman I no longer feel safe anywhere outside my apartment. I’m hyper vigilant and wary of every person on the street and am tense and have high anxiety every time I have to take the subway. Any tips on how to deal and get my peace of mind back?

I rarely go out anymore. I've walked around in other neighborhoods and even where it's residential and quiet I'd feel spooked sometimes (I've had random one-off incidents, like a homeless guy running up to me on a quiet residential street in UWS with his dick in his hands like at 7pm on a Thursday). So it used to comfort me that by choosing to live in midtown near my office, I had to deal with shitty tourists in my way all the time but at least it felt safe! Now even midtown or very crowded parts of Manhattan feel unsafe. There's so many aggressive crazy people even near times square these days. I've had several follow me for several blocks at dusk.

I Uber or cab 95% of the time (and when I take the subway I try to wait for the train not at the platform but a floor or two above and listen for trains). I try not to walk outside alone near/after dark and I'm always hyper vigilant, my head rotating back and forth constantly in case there's a crazy person with a knife coming after me because who the hell knows these days. I tend to keep my hood or hat up to hide my hair and the fact that I'm an Asian woman. I never use headphones or earphones outdoors. Also, it feels like men tend to catcall even more excessively than pre-covid (pent up energy?) and seem more aggressive when I ignore them, so I try to dress as inconspicuously as possible and stick to jeans and sneakers where possible.

Does this seem excessive? Yes. But I'd rather be extra cautious and hopefully not get randomly attacked. Easiest to just stay home.

Stay vigilant but don’t let the media get into your head.
You live in a big city. Things like crime, air/noise pollution, traffic accidents have always been AROUND you but the chances that they happen TO you is still very low.
Hundreds of thousands of Asian population have called the city home for generations. Moms and grandmas lived here for years over years, raising and protecting themselves and their kids. You’ll be fine.
Live the fullest every day because by when you survive NYC, you’ll regret if you didn’t.
- Asian M.

Black woman here. Sending love and good vibes your way. It's scary out here and I definitely empathize for your community.

I’m sorry to hear this. Sending hope and strength your way. No one should have to live like this.

This maybe isn’t a true solution, but Jersey city has a huge Asian community and hasn’t experienced nearly the same level of issues. The downtown area is so easy to get into Manhattan if you commute for work and the path train similarly is feeling a lot safer than the subway.

I’ve been having super high anxiety for the past few months, even alone at home during the night. I know I am overreacting and it’s impacting my mental health but these news wouldn’t give a stop and more and more tragedies happened. I am sad that there city that I like becomes this way.

Sorry to hear this OP but totally get it. My fiancée and I (both Asian) continually discuss this ourselves

Generally speaking, we always take public transit together (except when we commute for work), and whenever we do go out, we're carrying pepper spray.

Other things we do: when taking the subway, don't have headphones in, don't do stuff on your phone, have something against your back at all times, try to not take the subway too late (though she seems to be more okay with it than me since she's a native New Yorker), and constantly being aware of your surroundings

Asian F, not from NYC, visit 2-3x a year but was finally going to take the plunge and move there this year. I hate that seemingly every time I open my NYT app, I read about another assault, murder or absolutely senseless attack. My heart breaks thinking about Michelle Go or Christina Yuna Lee, all the elderly people, any of which could’ve been my grandparents, or the numerous other victims, whether Asian or not.

I still absolutely still love NYC but really struggling to figure out if I still want to live there and if the senseless crime will eventually subside.

Imagine how it feels to be a black man who has had to watch their back everyday since they were born.

Try to move to NJ and only go to the city alone during working hours. Only go out at night in groups. Stay out of the subway. Take Ubers everywhere. Try to stay in crowded places. Work remotely from NJ as much as you can until EVERYONE is back in the office. Once NYC is really back to normal with everyone back at the office an constant swarms of people everywhere at all times, this problem will go away.

I’m Black and have felt the same way for years. I moved out of NYC to jersey and feel safer

Asian F, I’m planning to move out of nyc partly due to I don’t feel safe here anymore

Why bring race into this discussion at all in the first place? No one even mentioned Asians being attacked by Black or White people. It’s the mentally ill homeless that are the culprit for the last few attacks. That has nothing to do with race. 98% of everyone from every race are rational, normal and friendly. I have friends of every race and everyone is the same obviously. We’re all educated here and live in one of the most diverse cities on earth, this isn’t a difficult concept. If you grew up in a homogenous area, have no friends that look different than you, haven’t travelled extensively etc, then I’m not talking about you.

Carry pepper spray with one finger on the trigger. Always be aware of your surroundings.

27F and feel the exact same. It’s really tough.
I’ve lived in BK for 7 years and always loved going into the city for errands, shopping, dining etc but never do it alone anymore- it’s like I lost my independence :/ and taking cabs back at night is really adding up $$$
Feel safer in BK these days for sure but still hyper vigilant

Lived in Hells Kitchen before and during the pandemic, and the crime was already bad (e.g. bank robberies, stabbings, daytime shootings). Knew it was going to only get worse for Asians with the China rhetoric and people missing from the offices, so I moved out of state and have never felt safer.

I don’t think you should stop being vigilant, at least for the next year or so. If the anxiety becomes too overwhelming to deal with, I would also consider moving out.

I’m a young Asian woman living here as well. When I have my AirPods in I always put it on transparent mode so I can hear my surroundings. I also carry pepper spray and a birdie alarm with me whenever I go. I’ve also shared my location with my friends here and family/friends who are out of state.

Im sorry you have to experience this. And i dont have a good way to deal with it. Im frustrated and angry. I moved out of the city last year due to a job change. But I was born in NYC and grew up in the area and spent much of my adulthood living and working there. It sucks that you have to be so concerned about your safety in a place you consider home when doing things like taking the subway, taking an uber home, or even just walking on the sidewalk. On one hand, I'm glad that I moved out and my wife (who is also asian) and I don't have to deal with the same fear. But it's also heartbreaking and infuriating.

Growing up I was taught to stay closer to crowds or at least don't be alone. That applies for stations and subway cars too. Blend into the crowd. Don't wear earphones. Don't do anything to stand out. But that doesn't seem to matter anymore. And it doesn't address the problem at hand.