How are young professional ambitious women meeting like-minded men these days? I’m opposed to dating anyone at my workplace because I don't like to mix work with pleasure but Oh My God the dating scene on Hinge in Toronto is absolutely horrid. Been single for almost 3 years now and have officially given up on men.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful
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Honestly, I met my husband in the Single Consultants bowl.

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

We’ve been married for a year and a half. And he’s definitely not Avid Solo Diner.

uplifting

Well professional ambitious men aren’t looking for professional ambitious women. You can be that be we aren’t looking for that. If you happen to be that fine but you also need to be what these men are actually looking for. Professional ambitious men make a lot of money so they don’t care about your money. They don’t care about your drive to make money. They don’t care about your corporate job. It’s nice but they aren’t choosing you because of that. They aren’t looking for a woman to lead, they are the leaders. Honestly, men like this rather you stay home and take care of the family you guys make or maybe work for him. These men don’t want a partnership, they want a wife. Obviously this isn’t all men but the majority of the kind and caliber of men you would actually want think this way. I’m not sure who you are so what I’m saying has nothing to do with you. Just speaking in a general sense.

likefunnysmarthelpful

D3, Being ambitious != having a top corporate position working long hours in a stressful role. Of course I would want my wife to have goals she’s passionate about whether it’s having her own at home business, or being an amazing teacher, etc. but MP1 is absolutely correct on his first part that a corporate career and the things that come with it is not at the top of things most successful men are looking for, if she does and everything in the relationship works, that’s great and a bonus, but usually there’s too many of the previously mentioned downsides for it to even get to that point

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Toronto here 👋

Certainly ambitious and looking for the same. Let’s chat?

likeupliftinghelpful

Some might call it ambitious, others might call it a missed opportunity.

funny

I’m starting to observe there is a very limited supply of eligible male bachelors after college.

Of the now 10 people in my BCG start class, there are 0 bachelors — all the men met their SOs in college or earlier. Of the 190 people in my fiancée’s medical school class, there are 10 bachelors. This doesn’t even start to filter whether they are interesting people or ready for a relationship.

Since starting to work, I have one professional female friend who found an SO after college. She’s in a fantastic relationship with someone five years older who did not attend college.

In an interesting modern twist, it seems that college-educated men can afford to be very picky on theirs partners

likehelpfulsmart

I think for sub-30 divorces, you need to control for high school relationships which went way too quickly and were not set up for long-term success. That will confound the success of college ones.

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The best ones are picked before college is over….

likefunnyhelpful

NAPA, yes I also tried to get back with one before my met my current SO 😂 it was so pathetic looking back but I was desperate!

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Dating for successful women is even worse in NYC

likefunnysmart

NYC is so massive with options. But it’s very easy to get stuck in whatever little corner of the city your current social network is part of.

likehelpful

I started dating tradesmen. They’re ambitious, make good money, very hands on kind of guys and there’s no weird sense of competition because we’re in such different fields. My partner works across the country so he works 2 weeks away from home and then gets a full week at home with me. We split the bills 50/50 and he does more than his fair share of chores when he’s home. No BS weird gender standards about anything. It’s great.

likesmart

I'm corporate married to a tradesman. He has so much admiration for my drive and is very supportive, and I think it has helped our relationship for him to see first hand how valuable I am seen by my company. Also vice versa. We are both relied on super heavily by our employers. I appreciate knowing his qualities that shine when I'm not around.

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Women need to understand that men don’t look for the same things you do in a partner.

likesmarthelpfulfunny

I’ll bite P1. Cute face, soft skills, reasonably in shape

likehelpful

No one coming in with the real advice.

I got you.

Here's what you do: first, figure out the likely hobbies of the people you're after. Then take up that hobby or get yourself in that space regularly some other way.

I know successful ambitious men, they're effing busy and if you're already known you're halfway there (I am married to one). Truly. Become known to them in a fun way.

Can't think of the right hobby? Try joining the right gym. Or take up another hobby that will make you a more attractive partner and get you out of the house regularly in the meantime.

Things I recommend:
-partner dancing
-volunteering
-weight lifting in chichi gyms

The key is to already be having fun and getting out and looking like a catch... Where they will see you being such a fun person on the reg.

likesmarthelpfulfunny

Telling women to be proactive with dating… oh you’re going straight to jail

funny

Date the guys that want you, not the Guys you want.

likefunnysmart

Like or both? Tough when you have a lot of guys falling for you left and right. I’ve broken enough hearts in my day.

They should for sure be head over heels for you, but you for sure should feel the same way.

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You don't need an ambitious man if you are as well. Trust me. You need an empathic guy with minimum ambition who's gonna be there for support.

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Absolutely agree with you. Do you think most women want to carry the family's financial burden?

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I finally met a guy who meets those (and my) requirements after 7 years on app. With him, I gave him a second date when I didn’t have an amazing time on the first date (it was just ok), and in the past, I probably wouldn’t have. My attraction to him grew and I am very much in love with him now. We met on Hinge.

likeupliftingfunny

That’s the thing, rarely do people like someone to the degree many are expecting the first time they meet. My best friend and I wouldn’t have been the closest we are if we wrote each other off the first time as there wasn’t this immediate amazing connection. Now we’re the closest and can talk about anything. I focus more on whether someone seems like a genuine good person and I enjoyed their vibe enough. Not looking for these crazy sparks, those are usually chemicals responding to things that have little to do with actual love, and many people know how to get those to fire off on people in a manipulative way and they don’t last

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Try dating someone in a different industry. There’s always a bunch of single doctor looking for wives. If you can live with a bit of ego, they’re okay providers and useful in a pinch.

likefunnyhelpful

Stats on this are right - docs usually date docs. Male docs will pick other professions in the hospital. Women docs def prefer docs but if they can’t get them then they go for other professional males. But if you’re an F trying to get a single doc, good luck. Be in medicine or maybe you could find a primary care doc but otherwise good luck. They usually just don’t understand any world outside of medicine.

“120 comments”

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funnylikesmarthelpful

Dating apps are abysmal. Go to places you think that quality men spend their time.

likehelpful

Those numbers are much better than regular life, according to Google, 39% of men are single (51% of men under 30, 27% of men between 30 - 49)

It seems to me that there are a ton of single people here trying to tell other single people what people see and want in a partner. As a Top 5%er happily married to someone I would have never considered due to what I told myself was an incompatibility at a certain point in my life, I recommend you get out more and start building and expanding IRL networks. I did the app thing for years and ended up dating, falling in love, and marrying someone that was right under my nose in one of my existing social circles. If you're working so damn much that you don't have time for IRL networks, then take a step back and decide if you're really spending your time the way you want to. Work life balance should be a top priority; we all owe it to ourselves to achieve this sooner rather than later. After all, what is all that money going to matter if you're sad and all alone? Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

likesmarthelpful

Honestly some of the best guys I’ve met our union workers. They are down to earth blue collar and work with their hands. Both my dad and my stepdad are union guys and they are not filthy rich but they do have more money than most people and both provided well for my mom

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OP, Torontonian here and like this thread and the Hinge. I ain't meeting any sane people and I have made peace with not lowering my standards. And I am not interested in being a house wife. So yeah pickings out of trashy Toronto dating scene are super slim

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NAMI, you are new to the bowl. We have tons of men here who love to mansplain the needs of women 🤷🏾‍♀️

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I dunno ladies I feel like I’m constantly bombarded with eligible bachelors and it started in my 20s and even though I’m in my 30s, 20 lbs heavier, married, and pulling like 200-300K annually I still see them…everywhere. At work, at the gym (though ew at the gym), through friends…

I don’t think I’m even that special. I don’t really try at all, used to be a tomboy, I swear a lot, am obsessed with my career, don’t want to do any housework, am not very touchy-feely, am super opinionated and sometimes arrogant…like I don’t know what’s going on here but I feel like eligible men are absolutely everywhere.

likeupliftingfunny

Look i have a friend like This - men everywhere chasing her - she’s a very a line and cool vibe, works in mens fashion, now is in LA. But she’s unmarried (against her idea/desire) at 34. Because she just goes out w the guys who pick her up in their suave way and take her to expensive dinners and fancy places. And mostly they are rich jerks. Or if not rich, guys who are so overconfident they are players or guys w ego issues. Be wary of if you’re the woman who always gets approached - the men approaching you might not be the type you ultimately want to end up w

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