{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How did you cope with gender disappointment? I feel so guilty for not being excited but I just dreamed of having a girl and found out I’m having a boy. It sound silly", "post_id": "5fc162d5f08fba0024a97cd7", "reply_count": 35, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

How did you cope with gender disappointment? I feel so guilty for not being excited but I just dreamed of having a girl and found out I’m having a boy. It sound silly

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Def give yourself time to mourn. I needed two days to process. Then I started looking up boy stuff (shoes, clothes, nursery themes, etc) and then I started picturing myself being a boy mom and remembering how boys love their mamas and the feeling of your son hugging you as he gets older is going to be awesome. ☺️

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☝️

I just had my third boy and at times I’m still coming to terms a bit with likely not having a girl (not sure we are willing to gamble on getting a girl for a fourth and four boys might kill me). For this baby, I didn’t find the gender out because I was afraid I’d be disappointed. At the point where he was born and I found out it was a boy, all I cared about was holding my healthy baby. I know you can’t go back and make it a surprise, but I agree that once the baby comes, it’s hard to be really disappointed.

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I always dreamed of having a couple (boy & girl). I was very excited to have a boy when I first got pregnant, and then I got pregnant again. Before I could find out the gender, I learned there was no heartbeat. It was a miscarriage. Early on, but still a miscarriage. I was floored. It was so shocking, but apparently it is more common than we think. Most people don’t talk about it. I got lucky and got pregnant again. This time another boy. I was sure it was going to be a girl, but i was so excited to have a baby, regardless. That miscarriage made me realize I just felt lucky to have a healthy baby. It put it all into perspective for me. Not everyone can get pregnant or have healthy babies. You’re lucky. ❤️

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My mom said to me... once you hold that baby in your arms it won’t matter. Little boys LOVE their moms. My little turns 4 months and he’s the sweetest little one and absolutely loves his mom. Stay open minded and open hearted.. you will love him with all your heart when they put him in your arms.

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Omg this is me! I dreamed of a girl as well. I picked out a name and imagined her already. I found out I am having a boy and was really disappointed. Even my husband ws surprised because he thought I had this mothers intiuition that it was going to be a girl. I'm really excited for my boy but I just wasn't ready for that news. Now I'm struggling to find a nice boy name. The disappointment is silly but it's so real. I think im slowly getting use to the idea of a boy. I started looking at my husband's baby pics and kind of realized that it'd b pretty awesome to a mini version of husband around. He'd definitely be super cute.

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I’m in third trimester and have struggled with this too. The most helpful for me to start getting excited was to write a list of things I’m excited to show and share with baby. Once I imagined life together and realized the things I want to build memories around don’t matter the child’s gender.

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I hear you. I’d feel the same way :( ❤️

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I gave myself 24 hours to to be really disappointed we were having a boy right after we found out. That did the trick. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel so you can adjust and wrap your mind around it.

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Let yourself feel disappointed. I’ve got twin boys and was sad one wasn’t a girl. They are 3 and the sweetest, most thoughtful, helpful little kids I’ve ever met. And they loveeeee their mama. I’m so lucky to have them. I think by letting yourself feel what you feel you can accept it and move on. GL mama!

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Boy mom here and just have to say I LOVE having my boy. I wanted a girl when I was pregnant but I am so glad I ended up with a boy. He’s so sweet and loving and couldn’t imagine him being a girl at this point. Currently pregnant with our second and kind of hoping for another boy now that I know life with a boy.

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Gender disappointment is hard. I have some family trauma that led to me thinking having a daughter would resolve. When I found out kiddo was male-bodied, I mourned long and hard- this was probably what kicked off my ppdepression. It’s ok to be sad- find other supportive people to talk through it- be that counselor, partner, friends, whoever. Take care of yourself and be kind, allow yourself time to adjust and process the reasons behind the pain. Kiddo is now 1 year old and the coolest little human. It is also probably better for us in the long run that i had many fewer assumptions and expectations for a son- I think it would have been way harder for me and kiddo had I had my wish.

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I am the same but I want a boy and feel like it’s going to be a girl (I find out in a couple of weeks). But I’ve heard once the baby is out you are just so happy you don’t care anymore!

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I have two boys... first we didn’t find out and I had 30 seconds of disappointment at birth. Second one we found out and I cried I was so sad... as soon as I saw my second I didn’t care in the least. I was so in love it didn’t matter! I’m still mourning not being a girl mom but the boys can be pretty great!

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My grandma always said that all boy moms make the best MILs because they are so excited to finally have a daughter, even if it's 30 years later. This is very true in my case as my hubby only has a brother and my MIL loves her DILs a ton.

It took me 4 days to adjust to the idea of having a girl when I found out at the 20-week ultrasound, when I was pretty sure I was having a boy .... it all works out perfectly in the end! Congratulations!

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This happened to me with my 3rd. I felt it in my bones I was having a girl and then was slightly heartbroken when I found out it was a boy (and felt super guilty about how I felt). It took about a month for me to change my thinking and once he was born i thought.... how could I have ever wanted anything other then my sweet healthy boy. I felt so guilty for being disappointed. Hang in there mama, it will pass!

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I never pictured myself with a boy and now can’t imagine having a girl. I’m not sporty at all...so that takes some work....but little boys are so sweet...more than I realized before....and I feel like I’m a super hero raising a strong sensitive male. ;)

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Maybe your child will choose to express themselves as a girl when they get older and then you’ll get to experience both!

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....Why would any wish this upon their child? it’s absolutely not because I don’t support our LGBQT, but because I think it is unfortunately a very hard life and many going through it struggle with depression and anxiety over their identity. It’d be heart breaking regardless of how supportive you are. No parent wants that for their child.

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Update - found out I am actually have girl and going through the same cycle all over again!! I had fully embraced being a boy mom but now my head is 🤯🤯

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Lol. Same happened to me. Thought it was a boy- even had a gender reveal. Was sad and then prepared/excited to be a boy mom (had the name picked out). Then at the 20 week appt found out it was a girl. 🤷🏻‍♀️ no one really told me the results and the state of WA doesn’t classify as boy or girl (it’s either male or female) and the test results weren’t clear (IMO) until the tech at the 20 week appt highlighted for me. Lol. Took me a lot longer to accept that I was having a girl and figuring out a name. It’s a funny process. You’ll get there again (might take more time, at least it did for me).

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I would say hope and dream of a healthy baby instead... many struggle with miscarriages and child loss.. All this would be irrelevant in such a situation..

A1, as someone who struggled with fertility for years and had a miscarriage for a very wanted baby, I still had gender disappointment when I did eventually get pregnant. It's ok to acknowledge these feelings. Doesn't mean the baby isn't wanted. Boy or girl.

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As someone struggling to have a baby, I’d say you’re pretty damn lucky to have a healthy girl on the way

Pwc2, I understand your sentiment but it's like someone trying to minimize your struggles by saying it's just not meant to be or that they got pregnant so easily. Doesn't help does it?

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