How did you get over your divorce? What was the aha moment for you that made you realize you had to leave?

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Happened gradually. Expressed I wanted more/different but saw no progress.
Then I didn’t want to dress in front of him, didn’t want to be intimate, etc.

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Ah fuck

Coming from a guy, eventually I came to the realization that after all she had put me through I no longer loved her but I was holding on to the idea of us meaning that I didn’t want to divorce because of social stigma etc. It got to the point where my entire life was going in a downward spiral and I had to let the idea go before I lost everything I worked hard for because she was making me miserable and apathetic to everything.

After we separated I started spending time with friends and just having fun and getting back into the things I used to enjoy and I found myself again. Then I got back into dating and went from there, now I’m in a much better places mentally etc.

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Also regarding social stigma and culture, I understand. I grew up catholic and was taught marriage is forever and you just work through your difficulties and force things to be better and if you’re unhappy that’s your fault. I also felt like I was giving up and quitting, it took me a long time to realize that she had already quit and it took both of us to make things work and if she wasn’t willing to make things work then nothing could do would fix it and it was time to throw in the towel.

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When your kids tell you that you two should break up that’s normally a sign. I told my parents that at 8, they divorced when I turned 10

likeuplifting

Yeah I meant for you to be 8 and tell them this…. Sorry to your younger self. I hope you healed from this

When resentment is impossible to recover from and when you realize there is no way you can stay any longer

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Feeling this right now

When she told me that she wanted a divorce for the second time and that she no longer had any romantic feelings for me. Goodbye to nine years with my partner and best friend.

Getting over it has been a whole different process. Deepening relationships with family and friends, taking care of myself, and easing back into dating.

likehelpful

Attorney 1, I feel like your ex right now. My mistake was that I should have tried couple counseling that very first year. I can’t stand couple therapy now and just hearing him talk annoys me. Thank you all for sharing ❤️, this is helping me a great deal.

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When my ex-wife said to me after getting home from work one day "I don't think we should be married anymore. And you should move out." That was my aha moment. Wrecked me for a long time.

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Bingo.

I went back and forth for some time. My aha moment was when my teenage son got his first gf. He was telling me about how he was there when her parents were arguing. Then he said to me “I’m never want to talk to Maddie the way dad talks to you.” That was it for me.

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When we had a bad argument within earshot of his mother, who I had tons of respect for. It was like I needed her permission and understanding to leave.

When my (ex) husband told me he got someone else pregnant 😑

Yikes

🗑 🗑 🗑 😒

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