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Rising Star
How much we could save every month during our 10 months engagement while maxing out 401ks and other investments and inviting all our family and friends.
Number came to $50k with 250 guests for 2 days of party.
We paid for all the expenses of our 12 bridal party - they just had to show up. $50k includes honeymoon.
We received all of the items on our registry (100 items) and $5,000 in cash from our guests.
You cannot budget without a location but you also can’t choose a location without a budget so it helps to have a “goal budget” going in (even if based on almost nothing), then let that help guide a place. Once you have that you can ACTUALLY budget looking at average prices in the area.
Big tip- don’t stress, don’t over-plan up front. Keep the happy times going and hire a planner/coordinator if needed. They won’t make decisions for you, but they’ll keep you focused.
You deserve to be happy aside from all the familial stress. “Weddiculous” is a book to help on perspective. Keep smiling!!
And for perspective we pulled off a 50 person wedding celebration over three days in a pandemic for $20k. It is what you make it- just pick the top three things YOU and your S/O want to prioritize then let the other things be small. We wanted great food (6k), beautiful decor (2k) and to celebrate over a few days... we decided to forget the flowers (Trader Joe’s is fine day-of) and cake (chocolate chip cookies instead! Looking at options had we not prioritized I would’ve spent at least $40k
Chief
There are some good online calculators that help you estimate a percentage of what each “element” should be in your budget (Ie. Some may say 20% for flowers). I would definitely encourage looking at all of the categories because so many little details add up REAL fast. For example, I started by saying I wanted venue/food/beverages/service & gratuities to be 35k all in, thinking that would be 90% of my budget, which was very naive of me. We’re now at ~70k all said and done (invite list 200+ in HCOL), but I’m very happy with all of the decisions we’ve made.
Pro
We could’ve spent like 50,000, but we chose to spend 10k. He has a family of over 120 people and I have a family of 20. We decided to just do are immediate families and grandparents and some friends, a total of 40 people for an entire weekend at the lake where we got to have I campfire one night, boating and kayaking and hiking another day, a Jacuzzi another day, time with every single person who came to the wedding. Nothing was a quick hello nice to see you thank you for coming. We got solid memories with everyone.  The wedding itself and reception were absolutely magical and fairytale like and perfect. 
I think in the post covid world actually it should be pretty easy to make it only a smaller wedding. Who wants to spend all that money and do all that planning only to have it cancelled and rescheduled three times. Just plan something small with family soon.