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How do I appropriately ask for a substantial raise?

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Im a bit embarrassed to say, but I make $105k. I support clients intermittently, but I am in house. I’ve been passed over for salary increases, and received a $3k raise last year, after three years without a bump. I feel I am underpaid. I’ve proved my value and worth (recently have new leadership) this past year. I wanted to try and ask for $140k with hopes of getting $120. I’ve never asked for a raise (obviously) but it is time. My firm is mid-size, federal. Be nice, please!!

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You’re severely underpaid for your YOE. You need to up your salary negotiation game. There are firms that will coach you on this. You should reach out to some of them. You’ll only pay them if you actually get your increase.
Here is one that I highly recommend: https://candor.co
Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

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Have an offer in hand, especially in these circumstances

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It seems you need to make the right relationships to make the ask a reality. When I was in a similar spot in salary, I was put under new leadership and introduced myself and built a good rep with him. Then in one of our convos he asked if something was on my mind, and I saw that as my opportunity and ask. I told him I loved everything about the company, the culture, the work, etc. but my salary. He didn’t know I was underpaid, as I was just realigned to him. He came back in 1 week and gave me $15k. This wasn’t during performance review, and when it was, got a great bonus and a good raise.

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The point is: get people in your boat and then you have a decent shot. My old lead couldn’t do anything for me, but the new lead did it real quick. You need to figure out who holds the purse and who is willing to give you honest answers.

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You are looking for $15k more...I don't think that's unreasonable - 10% right?

I personally wouldn't go in asking for $140k if you don't have research to support. Maybe start with $20k more.

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By getting an offer from somewhere else (or pretending to) and acting like you have no choice but to take it but wanted to give them the courtesy of allowing them to counter.

YoE and what’s your role?

10 YoE, marketing/comms. Two master’s, two bachelors.

💰💰💰

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My wife is a finance manager. At the start of the new year, she got a job at a small tech firm locally for 25% raise. It's owned by private equity.

While they did say it was long hours, she's been working 8a to 10p each workday, with team calls from 6-10p. She's also been working 6 to 8 hours Sunday.

What do you all advise she do? How can she manage expectations when her boss is VP of finance, reporting to CEO, who is over promising? Last person they hired quit after 2 days.

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