How do I care less? No intention of making partner. Here to learn as much as I can for as long as I can stand it. But I have panic attacks every f’in day.

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Stop worrying about results. It’s virtually certain that nothing you’re doing will matter in even a few years, let alone a decade or more. And the firm would replace you two seconds after you’re gone (however you leave). Do your best and stop paying any mind to all the idiots acting like you’re curing cancer or saving the world.

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For me the answer was a combination of setting the most realistic boundaries I could, and having a therapist/psychiatrist who could help me with my generalized anxiety disorder, which was driving a lot of my work anxiety

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I just tell myself that I'm gone sometime when I'm a 4th or 5th year (currently a second year). I know that it takes 2 years before my firm will "push" you out...so I'm like whatever about it for another 2 years at least. Plus, I find a lot of anxiety comes from people worried about hitting their bonus hours target...you need to learn to be OK not getting the bonus. You also have to be OK being a B- or C- level attorney...in the corporate world, that's enough. Lawyers like to be perfectionists, but often good enough is fine. Plus, it's really not that much bonus money or worth it stressing yourself out (especially if you are leaving sub 5th year). We are talking present value terms around 100-160k when it's all said and done pretax. That's no where near enough to justify giving me a heart attack and panic attack over over a half decade.

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Serious question: do you not want to be a good employee / team member in the future or just at your current job?

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