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A whole generation won’t get the irony

Who’s phone is this?

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Here’s to the end of Dry January!

If you have unlimited PTO, how unlimited is it?
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Get there early.
Leave on a fake errand - coffee, forgot your phone, letting the dogs out, whatever.
Come back just in time for the small talk to be over.
Works every time.
Show up 4-6 minutes late so you can be the one everyone is waiting for to start the meeting
when I know it’s going to be that kind of meeting it’s camera off, bathrobe on, browse Twitter on my phone
Excited Co-worker: “How was your weekend!?”
Me: “Fine. Just fine. I’m ready to get to work.”
Co-Worker: “I did blah blah blah this weekend and have plans for next weekend, too.”
Me: *ugh*
CW1 is on point. Tried and true.
I like to show up up last so that by the time I join the real meeting starts.
Take your computer out into the snow. Bury yourself up to your armpits. Turn on camera. Now your snow story is the only snow story that matters.