How do I set good boundaries during my maternity leave?

Background: During my 1st leave, my backfill kept reaching out to me & cc’ing me in emails & I felt obligated to respond since we didn’t fully transition b/c baby came early.

I’m currently transitioning to a backfill before I go on leave for the 2nd time & they’ve already reached out to me multiple times while I’ve been using up my PTO (use or lose!). I honestly just want to check out this time & not feel guilty about doing so.

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Do not answer any emails while on maternity leave. Done it twice!! The only emails I respond to are compliance emails. Maternity leave is protected. The is no gray areas there

likesmart

For sure, I still respond to compliance & anything from the Leaves Team.

Respectfully, you stop responding. They will figure it out. Don’t check in if you think you’ll respond.

A few people on my team have my cell if there’s a true emergency (almost never). Otherwise, protect your own time. You deserve it!

likesmart

Unfortunately, I’ve already received the “sorry to bother you” texts or Teams messages these past few weeks since I’ve been trying to burn up my use or lose PTO. I’m really hoping that it doesn’t continue when I’m on leave.

You need to set the boundary - no one else will do it for you. Just don’t respond. They will figure it out without you. Also, it’s important to remember that your work isn’t life or death, and you aren’t the only one with the answers. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, they would have a backfill in a few weeks. It’s more important to hold strong with your boundaries and not reply.

likesmart

I agree. I need to shift my perspective to that instead of feeling guilty because I didn’t do my part in transitioning off well.

I was in the hospital and my mute button didn’t work, my backfill overheard some stuff from the nurse and then i suddenly dropped from a team call, that’s the last time I heard from anyone asking for anything from me and I enjoyed my next 3 weeks work free (but still in the hospital until delivery)

Set those boundaries or someone else will. Remember you control your calendar.

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Ignore all emails. They will survive

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You set the boundary and you have to stick to them. Your boundaries won't be respected by others if you don't respect them yourself.

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First of all, fuck those coworkers. I cannot believe anyone was reaching out to you while on medical and family leave.

But don’t respond. I’m actually surprised you didn’t get a nasty gram from talent; I think it may actually be illegal for companies to ask anything of you while on FMLA/ medical leave — and I know a few folks who got hit up by talent because they were too active on email during leave.

But the answer really just needs to be: I’m on leave, see you in (whatever month you return)

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The backfill the first time around was a man… if he didn’t get a response over email, he would text me & follow-up every few days. Some of it was really dumb, like going through snapshot ratings together which I ended up ignoring towards the end of my leave.

The backfill this time around is a woman & also a mom so I’m hoping for more sympathy. She’s already messaging me from time to time when I’m on PTO though.

This is 100% on you to keep the boundary. It’s honestly extremely rude they’re reaching out, and appalling in my opinion. So, let them be appalling and get nothing back.

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Yes! The only thing you should feel guilty about is if you DONT unplug, because your family and you will regret that time if you were distracted. This is such an important time of your life, and when u look back on this time u will not remember or care about whether you helped the colleague. You will care about being present for your family. Do yourself a favor and try to have perspective about this time. Do u want to be answering emails during a time you can never get back?! We don’t save lives. Literally nothing they need matters nearly as much as what you’re doing on maternity leave. Nothing. This is a good practice for you setting boundaries.

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