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Coach
You can’t- someone has to step back and be primary caregiver. Otherwise you hire 24/7 help.
We hired at first and then decided my husband would take a change in careers so he could avoid all travel. I’m the breadwinner and the transition had its bumps along the way but it’s worked well especially now that the kids are in school and have school and sporting events that we want to be there for.
Mentor
I told my job I couldn’t do it 😬
Enthusiast
Back in my BIG4 days, I did what PwC1 did and asked for "3+1" travel schedule (3 weeks onsite, 1 week remote). My Client immediately dismissed me from the engagement. My PML threw a fit. A real no sh*t fit. HR got involved, things got really ugly.
I so do not miss that freakkin' sweatshop.
You hire someone.
Yep, I have a very good nanny who’s willing to stay overnight or travel as necessary. I basically see my whole paycheck go towards child care.
So au pairs / nannies can help. It’s also important that your husband steps up and bears some of the brunt of the disruption. Your job shouldn’t be less important than his, and so he too will have to have those conversations at work (eg need to leave early for pick up if you are out of town etc).
My husband was traveling extensively when we had 2 kids in London. We had no family nearby but a very good support network (friends that were in same boat). We also had a great nanny that was available on demand. For extended periods of time, we had a family member fly from another country and stay with us (3+ months). You find a way and make it work and okay to ask for help.
My husband and I both travel extensively but are senior enough to dictate travel requirements. We each try to minimize travel to the best of our ability and then we have made it be known that one cannot travel when the other is on the road. During those times our nanny knows she is expected to work closer to 50 hours a week and assist with dinner while the one at home wraps up work. If by some odd chance we know we both cannot avoid it, we use our points to fly in one of our parents as a last case resort
You probably need a nanny. And very tight communications and calendar management with your spouse. I did it for 3 years before I changed jobs. I didn’t change jobs because of the travel I just liked e new opportunity better
Very active and open communication between each other and our respective employers. We both try to get as much possible notice on travel dates and then adjust our availability based on the other’s schedule before confirming anything with clients/colleagues. When it’s gotten particularly tricky, we hire a teacher from daycare to help with evenings and do takeout and/or spend the night if we both need to be on the road. However, if it’s not an urgent need, we just say we’re not available to travel those dates period.
Nanny, some are willing to do overnights for extra $$$
Coach
I’ll answer for pre-covid since everything is a bit different currently. But previously, my husband and I each only traveled once maybe twice a year. The one of us at home would just block their work calendar as needed (when kids were in childcare or school during the day, we’d just block for morning drop off and then late afternoons and evenings). We knew the trips all in advance so could plan accordingly. You could also use a neighborhood teenager or a nanny to help with whatever’s the trickiest time of day to figure out. Or somebody who can pick them up from school/daycare. Really depends on how much travel you’re talking about and how flexible your husband’s job is.
Coach
Oh- also- I was invited to a promotion/leadership conference that was while I was breastfeeding. I said no and everybody was fine with that. My company has a free benefit that will ship the pumped milk home in special containers and such, but I just didn’t want to deal with all that.
We have had au pairs work 8-6 and its worked well. While husbands job is demanding, he is able to get home by 6 on the days I travel and log back on after bed time. Not sure how it would work if we couldn't do that
“Periodically” should be absolutely do-able with busy schedules. If you enough notice (two weeks at least?), would your husband be able to notify his employer? If not, then you should start interviewing part time nannies/babysitters - most people want a schedule, rather than an as needed, unless you’re fortunate to find one that doesn’t need the money and is just kind of bored. College students are usually great, but not always available. Be open about the need and try to identify more than one, for backups. Good luck!