How do parents do it, especially in executive and director levels? I can hardly keep my relationship intact.

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Outsource the problem

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🙄 nanny

But seriously, if you’re ambitious, put your ambition on pause for the first, oh, 5 years of your kid’s life. Stick with the cushy job that isn’t too taxing. Don’t go up for promotion or job-hop. (Or if your current role *is* too taxing, job hop into something coastier for a while!)

Sounds like a sacrifice, but it’s soooo worth it. Focus on new parenthood now; strive later.

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Having experienced this a fair amount in my career I’ll add my thoughts, you have to decide what is the most important priority. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.
Executives and Strategic leaders need to organize and delegate.
Then you’ll find you’ve chosen those things which are the most important. Took me a long time to figure this out. As I always saw “the grind” and taking on mountains of responsibility as a means to success and eventually found more joy and success in letting go of the things I couldn’t do. And trusting that others would fill the gaps. And rightly so, things worked out.

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Forget executive and director levels, think of the 1st generation parents that worked double shifts for minimum wage jobs

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Less sleep, more coffee, use time more effectively. It’s not impossible but you have to make time and focus on what’s important

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It's all in the coffee. I'm in love with my espresso machine. I might treat it better than the family.

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Is life still enjoyable when you’re forgoing so much sleep??

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Sorry, hard truth. Have 2 kids. Good news is that after they are all 2+ Yo you may reach some degree of normalcy in terms of sleeping

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It’s not easy, but with time you’ll adjust and find a way to balance it all that works for you. I’ve found it’s different for everyone. Make sure to draw that line to maintain your WLB and have time for what’s really important.

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I would straight up collapse. Props to all of you parents out there

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Hi, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Here are a few things that have worked well for me:
- Defining my boundaries at work and sticking to them. I could easily work really long hours, but I've worked with my coworkers to define family time in the late afternoon and evening, and I decline meeting invites that come in during that time. I've found people to be pretty respectful. The book "Essentialism" helped me figure out how to do this effectively.
- Figuring out how to be present with my family. When I'm not working, I try hard to be mentally away from work too. I've been taking a parenting class once a week in the evenings, and it's been a good push to remind me to be present and have empathy (let's be real, it can be tough to handle melt downs at the end of a long and stressful day). The class I'm doing is local to me but I've heard good things about the class offered by "Big Little Feelings" if you're looking for a specific one. The class I'm taking emphasizes being a "good enough" parent -- trying to help your kid navigate their feelings while recognizing you have needs and feelings too. I like this so it's not stressful trying to strive for perfection but still a good reminder to be a present, patient, and empathetic parent.
- Downtime with my husband after kid bedtime. We try to set aside time to eat ice cream or watch a show after our kid has gone to bed. Like with work, there are always jobs to be done at home, but we try to set aside time to relax together in the evenings.
- Like some posts have said, outsourcing can be helpful. We have someone clean our house every two weeks, I buy a lot of pre-made meals from a local place that I think is fairly healthy, we eat takeout a good deal (I hate to cook). If you can take some of the super painful chores off your plate, it's money well spent.
It can be really tough to be pushing in your career, raising a kid (or kids), and trying to maintain a loving relationship with your partner. You're not alone in the struggle. Good luck!

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Having kids forces brutal tradeoffs. But worry not! Even not having kids is a brutal tradeoff, just at a different stage in life

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Not having kids has the benefit of not knowing what you’re missing 😅

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I find that they seem to not do it very well at all. Executives that I know are parents seem so disengaged, taking their kids to swim class as an obligation and hiring 3 people for help. There's nothing wrong with seeking help of course, it absolutely takes a village, a strong community to raise children, but I am just saying I don't look up to workaholic leaders anymore. I don't care about my job more than I care about finding contentment and love outside of it, so I find them less than ideal role models. I wish you good luck with your relationship! I hope you are able to make time for it.

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Lol now imagine a director / exec role splitting the kids 50/50 and being involved in all activities too. It’s all about prioritization, work smarter not harder and forgoing sleep

DINK and live a fulfilling life

Everyone I know with a lot of different responsibilities is either super stressed or pounds coffee (or both). I know of one person who didn't do either, but they didn't stay in their role for long, and basically hid from everyone except the directors reporting to them when it came to project related conversations

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