How do people have energy for kids? I’m just turning 26 and I’m SO TIRED. Just have work, errands, things that come up and house work, and gym like 3-4 times a week. Don’t even have energy for my dog… can’t imagine how it would be with kids, and I want two…

likefunnyuplifting
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It’s tough raising kids, but less tough if you have a helpful partner. Well worth it, but definitely exhausting. I look forward to nap times and bed times, but I also look forward to seeing my child learn and love life.

likeupliftinghelpful

We had our first last year and you definitely learn to re-prioritize. You split errands with your SO, get things delivered, hire help and set firm work boundaries.

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Do you work a lot currently? I stopped working so much when I had kids. If you’re seriously physically exhausted though (in spite of being young and exercising, etc), might want to run some blood tests!

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Agree that you just prioritize and get more efficient with a kid in the mix- that helps you get key things done and also still have some free time.

I get that cooking/cleaning take time, but I'm confused about how all of it is taking you so much time each day? Cooking/eating/cleaning up from that is probably like 1-1/2 hours tops - maybe try and that's if you aren't cleaning up in the kitchen while things are in the oven/hands free?

Cleaning/laundry does take a few hours, but that should be like a few hours per week, not multiple hours per day every week, even for a family. Could you streamline your cleaning schedule or like just do a couple cleaning tasks and a small laundry load per day max?

Kids give you opportunities for choosing healthy boundaries. You can't be good for them unless you're good to you. Evaluate same in your life. Choose you more often. Be in alignment and the rest really doesn't feel tiring.

likehelpful

It’s hard. Very hard. At least the worst sleeping happens right after they’re born, so you learn to deal with sleep deprivation early on. Later you learn to be exhausted from dealing with repeating yourself 1000’s of times to get a toddler to do what you ask them and answer the same questions from them 1000 times more. Then you get conditioned to just not having any of your own time to do anything alone…ever…unless you take up a hobby/sport like golf or cycling where you have an excuse to leave the house for 6+ hours at a time. You also learn to adapt to being tired in a car, answering more questions and trying to find parking whilst simultaneously finding their favorite song on Spotify, then listening to said song roughly 10,000 times. Then you get on the birthday circuit, hitting as many as as 5 different venues in a given weekend from play-spaces to public parks to bowling alleys and arcades…

It is a test of endurance and mental fortitude. A battle of will and concentration in an ever-changing battlefield. Each birthday and Christmas brings another level of challenges to be met head-on…but at least you don’t get to take the vacations you want or have spontaneous sex anymore, so that’s a plus I guess.

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In all seriousness I love my kid. I also do work out 6x a week, love taking him on holiday so I can see the world through his eyes and appreciate everything even more. It’s not easy, but it’s awesome.

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You’ll start going to bed at 9:30pm. That’ll help a bit.

likesmart

Same

You will find the energy. Kids are one of the most beautiful pleasures of life.

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Haha when you have kids you realize just how much more tired you can be. I also am just worse at my job than before and have learned to live with that. (My kids are 3 and 6, and I had them when I was a Project Leader/Principal). The only thing more exhausting than doing this job with little kids is the idea of switching careers and getting ramped up somewhere new.

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This! It’s so true. I often kick myself for not taking offers extended in the past but the thought of having to start over was just too much on top of having two babies/toddlers.

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The difference in feeling tired without kids is that you can find time to sleep, relax, recharge at a later date. This doesn’t exist with kids.

likefunny

This is too true. My son likes to wake up at 5:10 every morning... its not too bad if he doesn't wet the bed or if his baby sister doesn't wake up during the night lol

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Definitely left consulting when I had kids.

likesmart

Head of accounting for a family office. Mostly remote and 30-40 hour weeks. I can generally squeeze my workday into the 10am- 4pm range. Then 30 minutes for life admin and 30 minutes to workout before kids are home.

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I thought this too at your age. I learned a few things:
1. Sleep hygiene is so important. A great bed (not a good one, a great one that feels amazing), a great pillow, good sheets, clean room that smells good… these things improve the quality of sleep. You can spend 10 hours in bed but if it isn’t good REM you’re going to wake up tired every damn morning.
2. Hydration. If you’re dehydrated, you’re tired. 10 glasses + of water every day helps me a lot.
3. Exercise. Make it easy. I got a Peloton. I use it every day in some capacity… usually a ride but sometimes a meditation or yoga or Pilates.
4. Outsource what doesn’t matter. I don’t spend 2 hours on dinner. I buy easy to cook foods (like frozen) that I serve up with a salad. When I do cook I cook in bulk so I freeze 3-4 leftover meals with each one. You only liking fish makes freezing and reheating a bit harder… but you could cook everything but the protein ahead and fish is quick to cook. (Though you should expand your palate a bit.)
4. Pay for things that add no value to your life if you can. Grocery delivery? Laundry service? Housekeeping? Yes yes and YES!

likesmart

That is one of the reasons I don’t have kids.

likefunny

If you have a good partner and you work well together, you’ll be fine. I have a 2-month old and my partner and I still have lives.

I’ve also found that I sleep differently. I’m sleeping less, for sure. But when I sleep, I really SLEEP. Same with work. When it’s time to work, I really WORK.

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You would re-prioritize. You most likely won’t be able to keep everything you’re doing and also have kids (even if you have the most helpful partner in the world), something has to be scaled back.

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Diet has alot to do with it. Make sure you are getting enough protien.

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Barely any greens, once in a blue moon a salad, but can’t remember the last time.

You realize you have more energy than you thought. Humans throughout history had the same anxiety about having children; it’s nothing new. You think you can’t do it, until you do.

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There are times when it’s hard but much more time when it’s amazing. When my kid randomly hugs me and says I love you or he’s laughing with us …time stands still

likeuplifting

When it happens, you’ll figure it out. I have 1 in elementary and 2 in middle school. And they’re all in extra curricular activities outside of school. I’ve worked their whole lives. As a parent, you’ll know what to do…how to adjust your schedule…you’ll find yourself using sick days (I call them mental health days) just to have a little extra time with them or even to have a day to yourself. No doubt your whole world will change when you have a human to take care of aside from yourself but it can be done in a manner that is not completely and totally overwhelming.

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i feel the same and my answer is, i dont need to know because im never having kids

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IMO people shouldn’t have kids to satisfy their own wants and needs, like a puppy, you should do it bc you want to sacrifice yourself for someone else

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some of y'all are funny. it feels like the only thing I hear out of my colleagues and friends are complaints vis-a-vis their children - how exhausting vacation is, how exhausting, day to day life is...how noisy, disruptive, obnoxious, and and ungrateful their kids are. i dunno dudes, just don't fucking have kids.

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