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Aaaaand we're working the weekend
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In short you throw money at the problem (e.g. hire nanny or mother’s helper) AND your spouse or other caretakers take on extra work when you are away. How you manage actually being away from the kids in terms of your well being? Well… you don’t. You learn to live with guilt or you justify being away.
Chief
I would take what your wife makes post tax those 2 days and net it against the cost of child care for those two days and see if it’s worth it. It’s not always going to be bad for you, but if you don’t set boundaries early these firms will take all your time.
She works in healthcare so her full-time is doing three 12-hour shifts per week. So she would still make 65% of her normal income only working 2 days per week (about $50k per year). She would make about $2500 a month post-tax and 2 days of daycare is $950 a month, but will be more with 2 kids.
Chief
My husband worked close to home (7 minutes, in fact). Kids went to a great day care. I traveled M-Th 2-3 weeks a month. Did that for about 8 years and then negotiated a role without travel. It was fine. I have no regrets and everyone is still alive.
Chief
I think you are lucky to be working in a time of great change in consulting. We can do more with less travel. That is not to say we can do it with no travel, but we can do new things.
I also think it is wise to remember that there are seasons to life. What your life looks like with a newborn will be different than with a toddler, gradeschooler, middle schoolers, and so on. Your WLB needs will change with those seasons and that’s ok. For me, I found that the advice of a few wise friends has turned out to be mostly true, and therefore I keep turning to them for more advice as the years pass. It has helped.
Rising Star
After having a kid I had hard stops at 5pm. Turns out that not working after 5 has no impact at all on your career
Started consulting when I had a 4 year old. And then had a second. Wife always had a local 9-5 so she bore the brunt M-Th. Always tried to get as much done over the weekend (laundry, errands, chores, meal planning, cooking, etc.) so she had less to deal with while I was gone. And yes, the usual army of nannies, childcare, baby sitters to augment her.
Switched to an industry role during the pandemic and sometimes wonder how we (she) made it work for 7 years. Kids are much older but wife still gives me grief sometimes 🤪
Chief
Very similar situation. Following
Pro
I have a baby and kinda single parent. Wife has crazy schedule in healthcare and we see very less of her except on weekends. WFH has been a blessing and I intend to keep it that way giving up any traveling perks and client site visibility. It is afterall a big awareness issue between what you want and what you actually can and then even bigger trade off in career vs family. Have to choose and have to settle. Saying that I am trying my best to be a critical member of team so that I can atleast say on track with promotions.
Please visit the new “single-parents”bowl.
Kids are a major investment. You make it work by paying for childcare during working hours, and coordinating with your spouse to ensure one person is home overnight while you’re travelling.
As the child of a consultant who was on the road Monday - Thursday and a stay at home parent, I have a great relationship with the traveler because the weekends were heavy family time and I never felt like there was a gap in my life. From the perspective of the stay at home parent, I think the burden falls on them. (A consultant now myself, so I think it can work)