{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do u approach debt with your spouse? Spouse has no debt (parents)& while I mitigated my costs, still came out w/ 150k. Have 70k left since married. Should they help pay? Big pot or separare accts?", "post_id": "5e2be8a9be880c002a13fb7c", "reply_count": 18, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d052", "bowl_name": "Law" }

How do u approach debt with your spouse? Spouse has no debt (parents)& while I mitigated my costs, still came out w/ 150k. Have 70k left since married. Should they help pay? Big pot or separare accts?

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Just. Talk. To. Them.

likesmart

This and everything this stands for

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My money is her money and visa versa. Each of us gets fuck you money each month. There aren’t any limits to the fuck you money, it’s more like a guideline. If either of us want to make a large purchase we talk about it and make it happen. If you aren’t open about your debt/finances it will cause problems in your marriage. Debt is part of our operating cost. Just like mortgage or rent.

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Second this.

My husband has zero debt but we're doing one big pot because we both feel comfortable about this arrangement. Find out how your spouse feels and go from there.

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We did the same thing. My husband didn’t have debt I had about $190K when we got married (all law school loans). We used one salary to pay off the debt and the other for our expenses and talked about big purchases. My loans are now paid off but we are using the same strategy to pay off our mortgage. Good luck!

We are paying it off together. It benefits both spouses to pay it off as soon as possible.

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Student loan debt? If so, I would argue it helped you earn more money which your spouse benefits from. So, both of you should pay off the debt.

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Thanks everyone. Super useful! Obviously I was going to talk to my spouse lol relax, I wanted to know what other people do and thankful people shared what they do and their opinions and reasoning!

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I’m in the same boat although I married my wife during law school. Her family has multi-generational money and she has no debt. We talked about it and she said she always expected that we would pay it off together. I wouldn’t have been offended if she wanted a pre or post-nuptial agreement with regard to the debt because I fully recognize that my law degree can only ever stay with me and isn’t a transferable asset upon divorce. I think you will be surprised that they have considered it and are okay with it. Depends on your spouse’s income and family wealth situation though.

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Separate accounts + separate debts + separate decisions = Separation.

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First, it depends on whether you plan to combine assets, and second, it depends on whether your spouse is comfortable with the idea. I’m in the opposite boat — I haven’t co-signed for his loans but we pool our income and that goes to pay off the monthly payments. Divorce attorneys, is this taken into account when dividing assets (not that I’m looking to get divorced, seriously just curious)

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In California student loan debt is generally confirmed to the spouse who acquired it as their separate property, unless the debt was acquired more than ten years prior to the separation - then its presumed the community benefited and the court has discretion to divide it as a community debt. (This assumes the debt was acquired during the marriage, in CA debts and assets acquired prior to marriage are the separate property of the acquiring spouse).

I think part of the underlying concern is the potential for a future divorce. If you pool your income, use it to pay off your student loans, and thereafter divorce, the spouse who entered the marriage without debt may feel that he or she was “cheated “. On the other hand, having separate accounts, is so transactional in nature that (again, in my opinion) detracts from the romance of marriage. Therefore, I am in favor of couples pooling their wages. If I were the spouse who entered the marriage without debt, I would be satisfied with a postnuptial agreement that stipulates, in the event of a divorce I will be reimbursed “off the top” for the portion of my spouse‘s student loan debt we paid during the marriage. Although truly a transactional solution, it would be underscored only once (when the agreement is signed) as opposed to being underscored every time a paycheck is deposited into a spouse’s separate account.

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It is their choice to make - there are no “shoulds” here. But you should definitely talk to them. I decided to co-sign my husband’s loans even though I do not have student debt so we can hopefully not get drowned in interest payments while saving for a house and our future kids’ college fund.

It’s your debt legally anyways once you married so might as well joint attack to payoff because you both will benefit from not having the debt

My partner and I are paying off separately, but mostly because he is a teacher and the savings we’d get from filing separately and allowing him to get PSLF are greater than any tax savings from filing jointly.

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