{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you all handle tantrums from your toddler during dinner? We finally made it out to have a socially distanced dinner with a female friend of my husband. My toddler started getting really fussy during dinner and my spouse continued his conversation -not wanting to leave. I took the baby on a brief walk but that wasn’t really helping. Spouse still did not want to cut dinner short (we were already on dessert) and he kept his conversation going. I sat down and baby is grabbing plates (cont)", "post_id": "5f90f69fdf6ba80021fda0c7", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

How do you all handle tantrums from your toddler during dinner? We finally made it out to have a socially distanced dinner with a female friend of my husband. My toddler started getting really fussy during dinner and my spouse continued his conversation -not wanting to leave. I took the baby on a brief walk but that wasn’t really helping. Spouse still did not want to cut dinner short (we were already on dessert) and he kept his conversation going. I sat down and baby is grabbing plates (cont)

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Honestly sounds like more of a husband problem than a toddler problem. You guys need to be on the same page

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Agreed. It’s really not fair for him to make you responsible for this while he continues on carefree with his dinner... Youre a nicer wife than I am. I would have just asked for the check myself. But to answer your question I’ve tried to be cognizant of not setting all of us up for failure by becoming attuned to the things I know are likely to put him over the edge: just being out too late, very noisy restaurants, very long meals (2 hours is the absolute limit for us.) But we also know that sometimes even with this, it may just not be my sons day and know that there’s always a small chance we may just need to pull the ripcord and ask for the check early. He’s generally a pretty good kid but toddlers will be toddlers.

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Toddlers can’t control their behaviors. Grown add men can. I would have taken the car keys and gone home.

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I would have told your husband that you are going to take baby for a 15 minute walk and then it’s time to go. Pretty unreasonable for him to think you were going to sit there endlessly with a tantruming toddler.

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I agree with the spouse comments but first and foremost think that because it should be a team effort to parent, not because they should have left. We aim to stave off the tantrums when we know ours will get bored by bringing some novel things along to dinner to play with, books, toys, whatever, and if a tantrum it is, take turns socializing / walking w the toddler. 

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You also have to keep in mind that this was likely a big change for your toddler. If you haven’t been out to dinner in a long time, the change in routine and location was likely a huge deal for your toddler. They likely needed more of your attention to deal with the discomfort. Completely agree with those above that it was time to duck out of dinner when it became unmanageable. It stinks after not being out due to covid for so long but I don’t think there was much additional you could have done beyond what you described besides go home and get the toddler off to bed.

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Toddlers can only be expected to sit still and chill for so long. A long dinner that includes dessert sounds like a lot to ask. When it's time to go, it's time to go, and your husband needs to understand that. If he doesn't want to deal with normal toddler behavior at dinner, then he should not take the toddler to the dinner.

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Ah! That’s hard when you’re out with company. Honestly though, if my toddler starts acting crazy I give her the crazy eye. I got a little one, 15 months, who doesn’t care/pay much attention to this crazy eye of mine, but generally if she’s having a big meltdown it’s because she’s hungry or sleepy - so i feed her or hold her to sleep right there and then. My four year old and seven year old both respond to my crazy eye by now. Aside from that, I generally try not to re-arrange our family plans too much around my kids’ moods and opt to have them tag along and deal with the situation. I’m hoping it instills flexibility in them - but the verdict is still out on this theory of mine. 😒 Oh, and if husband is there when 15 month old is having a melt down, I involve him to help me feed/or put her to sleep. Something along the lines of, “here hunny do you mind holding her for a bit?” And then if we really need to go, that usually does it because he experiences the stress of the tantrum-toddler firsthand.

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You are a nicer wife than I am as well. I would have asked my husband to take turns with me and take care of the kid as well. I’ll firmly tell him and the female friend that we need to leave and my husband will know if he doesn’t take actions then things will start to get ugly. I generally don’t make a scene but when forced I will just so he learns his lesson.

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We bring a few little toys - toy car, few blocks - and order the toddlers food first with drinks and apps. That way he’s mostly eating the entire time. Tantrums are all about avoidance. There’s nothing to be done once they start.

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Utensils, and throws water all over me. It was pretty intense and I wanted to slap husband. It wasn’t until I asked my husband for the 5th time that we finally left. I feel like I could have managed the situation better though. Thoughts ? How do you all manage social situations with tantrum throwing kids ?

Agree with previous comments about spouse. Also, seems like the female friend was not being considerate—she should have offered to end the dinner then too seeing that the toddler was over it.

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