How do you all make biglaw (corporate finance) possible with a toddler and an infant? Between daycare schedules, appointments, etc., I’m struggling hard. What are your schedules like if you’re in my boat?

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Do you do drop off or pick up of kids? One parent should do one, the other should do the other. Use your biglaw money to pay for a cleaner and cook to come 2-3 times a week so they can prepare all meals and do all organizing so that’s off your plate and you can use your evening time 6-9 or whatever it is - to spend with kids. My kids always had very late bed times and went to school late because that worked for our schedule better to get more time with them.

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I’ve tried everything (I practiced many years ago although not big law) so here is my advice. You must hire help if you go the daycare route. Daycare then hire someone from 3-7 to help out in house, meals, driving to soccer practice or activities, make emergency runs to grocery and even some minor dr appointments. Now that I’m a recruiter I still have someone 4-7. That person will eventually help with homework which is a lifesaver! You just can’t do it alone. I never had family help. So must hire! Good luck! It does get easier. 8th and 6th now much easier than toddler!

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Agree with this

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Have a stay at home spouse. Otherwise it is impossible.

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Attorney 1 - I respect that and I respect you.

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We have a live-in nanny.

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Not unless we need her.

It’s very hard with daycare and two little kids. Most people go with a nanny for this reason. I did a nursery school from the outset but I had a husband with a slightly less intense job (legal aid) and family support from parents. Also 5 years between kids because anything sooner just felt impossible.

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OC: that’s too much! Hire a driver/after school part time nanny to drive to activities. It’s been a life saver for me. 3-7!

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Senior associate in tech trans / single mom to a 2yo and don’t live close to family. It’s definitely difficult, but I’ve hit hours every year (pro-rated my mat year). Mostly for me it’s a strict routine, teaching my toddler to be self sufficient (where possible - e.g., getting her diapers/picking out her outfits in the morning, cleaning up her toys, etc.), taking advantage of the every other weekend she’s with her dad to recharge, and drawing boundaries at work. The average day I’m up at 5am (work for an hr), get the kiddo up around 6 and to daycare around 7, work 7:30-5, completely offline picking her up/hanging out with her from then until 8 unless it’s an emergency, clean the house/do chores, and then back online for a couple hours. Definitely have a house cleaner, meal service for the kiddo, and workout equipment at home. I’ve occasionally hired a home organizer when chores/everything gets too much, and I probably go too far between drs appointments for myself.

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You are a bad ass!!

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You need a nanny and daycare. Unfortunately. It’s too much for one person (nanny) even if you pay them a ton, it’s total burnout and you want to have backup in case nanny is sick or daycare is closed.

Ideally you find a nanny that’s an extension of you and your partner, and that usually means going through an agency and getting a career nanny. Nanny handles mornings and drop off - maybe runs a couple errands/laundry while kids are in daycare 1-2x a week but for the most part gets a break during those hours. Then nanny picks up from daycare and preps dinner, helps with bedtime so that you or your spouse can have one on one time with the other kid. I.E., nanny does bathtime w baby, while one of you has dinner w toddler. Or vice versa. Weekends you get a different babysitter for Saturday morning so you can sleep in/run errands. College/high school kid that can turn on cartoons and pour cheerios.. that’s all you need. Sunday you have a no work at all unless emergency day. It’s expensive as hell at first but after a year or so you realize it’s worth every penny and more.

Throw $$$ at any nanny you trust and love, finding another is like finding another spouse.

Feel free to message me if you want the agencies we have used.

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I’m the only toddler/infant in my house

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Lol this is me, except I don’t have to juggle the daycare because I live near my in-laws. Sometimes I am up on weekdays from 6:45am until about 2-4am (depending on the day and if my child is cooperative at night). Other days, I’ll be done by 5-7pm and will get a healthy amount of sleep. Is it long term sustainable? No. Has it progressively gotten better? Yes.

My wife is also an attorney at S&C, and her schedule is more predictable, so she helps with bedtime routines usually etc. I help with the cooking (when I can) and other tasks here and there. My firm also lets me work from home on Fridays, so I schedule all the baby’s appointments at 8am on Friday.

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And for what it’s worth, having family to help is the glue that keeps my life together.

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Super helpful OC1. The 4am-5pm shift just sounds crazy though. When would you sleep?

10 pm - 4 am or so I was thinking, which is equivalent or more sleep than I often get now. During slower times you could push the wake up time a bit later. I’m a bit of a night owl so it would be a big shift but last year my husband’s had to travel for a family issue for 6 weeks, and I used that schedule and it was workable without him around. Would be harder to do with a partner who goes to bed later.

Au pair + babysitter + our parents. Still tough.

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