How do you and your s.o. handle finances? How did things change from dating > engaged > married? What considerations did you have?

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DINKs with roughly equivalent income.

When we met, he made more than I did. When we moved in together, we allocated rent in proportion to what we had each been paying prior to living together. Everything else was roughly equal, although he contributed more to our trips I think.

After getting married, now that salaries are equal and my loans are paid off, we contribute equally ($3400 per month) to a fund which is used to pay off our mortgage/ bills and also goes towards our "fun fund" - travel, dinners, etc. The majority of my salary is separate to spend/ save as I want.

Our savings goals are pretty similar so it's not a huge issue, although I do spend a little more than him on shopping. He has more money saved since he started working earlier and didn't have loans (not a lawyer). I think he anticipates retiring at around the same time and although our retirement accounts and savings are separate I think he views them jointly and anticipates subsidizing me a little when we retire.

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This is what we’re planning to do too.

Dating, everything separate.

Engaged, things still separate but within 3-6 months started splitting everything/not keeping track of who paid for what.

Married, bank is combined. She’s an AU on my cc.

Considerations: financial ease, openness, our willingness to not make major financial moves without each other’s sign off, similar financial goals/future plans, similar in how we spend, I make considerably more than she does, but she still pulls in 150K, so nbd there (as opposed to one person pulling in a lot and the other only makes like 70K)

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Tagging along - how did folks handle pre marriage assets like house and such?

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Any advice on how to approach that conversation?

Sparate finances until marriage and then joint accounts. Since I became partner, house and certain other assets were put in her name even though I earn a lot more (asset protection). She’s more tech Savy so when on-line banking began, she’s handled it. Now married over 30 years.

Dating but notcohabitating: completely separate


Cohabitating: we split the rent based on percentages of income. We split parking costs and other utilities. They generally come out of my account and she just venmoed me. New joint bank accounts but we do you send joint birthday cards to friends and family.

Married: when we get a mortgage, that will be a joint account but other than that, things will likely be separate

Married, completely separate. We have talked about a joint account but never got around to it. We are trying to buy a property though and will do it then (right now my spouse owns our home but I have the bigger income).

Engaged. When we get married, we plan to keep separate finances, but will have a joint account that we both contribute to (proportional to our income) that we’ll use to pay rent, utilities, car insurance, etc. we’ll each have individual bank accounts and investments.

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