How do you approach a female partner who is nice to your face but has commented to other partners and implied her own mistake was one you made. Would you call it out? (I am a junior lawyer)

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I’ve been in the situation and it was a very challenging one to navigate honestly. I ended up consulting with a female lawyer coach And I thought she was giving me an extreme recommendation when she told me that I may want to consider just moving firms for my best interest professionally, But she ended up being right about all of it because within a month or two there were a number of other similar issues that followed and it became problematic for me quickly. It really depends on the work culture within your firm and more importantly what her internal status is in terms of decision making authority, the amount of business revenue she brings in for the firm and what kind of relationship she has with the people that you might be working with because the more value she has in any of those areas the more challenging the situation presents itself for you unfortunately. I think the worst thing you could do though is call her out and if you were to do anything at all I would maybe try to have a very thoughtful conversation with her privately if you think she would be open to it and approach it from a place of respect. But I think that that can be risky if she is not the personality type that would be open to that kind of dialogue and transparency with you. I unfortunately did not have good luck with that approach so I’m a little hesitant to recommend it but I was only a first year associate at the time and she was one of the biggest firm generators so odds were not in my favor and I don’t think she was someone who was open to that type of conversation anyway. Sorry you have to deal with that because it’s never fun and there are definitely some lawyers that have no problem throwing associates under the bus for their own benefit so just try to remember that there’s only so much in your control and this is an about you at all. Find some good female lawyer mentors who well have your back and champion your success so that these kind of disruptions are just a little blips that you can roll your eyes out and move on. Hugs!

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Author - I meant to say this **isnt** about you in my original comment. Sorry about that! Meant to be encouraging 🤦🏼‍♀️

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Unfortunately you don’t

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Don’t call it out, but do try to put yourself in a situation where her influence is minimized. Also, try to work with other partners who can contradict her negative comments.

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Don’t worry. Somebody like this has done this kind of thing before or will do it again. It will be a reflection on her and not you.

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I wouldn’t go there.

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Yeah don’t get in a pissing match with the one who signs your paycheck.

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Don’t do this

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You don’t. You’ll probably eventually have to leave the firm because it sounds like a toxic environment. It happens.

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I am on the way out lol

No. I would just do everything in your power to not work with that partner again. If it becomes a repeat problem, just document everything…and probably start looking for another job unless you’re willing to take it up with other senior partners or management.

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Why did you specify that she’s female

As much as I would like to yell sexism here, I’ve had similar experiences and it’s very disappointing as young female attorneys enter the biglaw world. In my case that partner was alsoon eveery single women in law committee or opportunity and yet she constantly undermined women on her teams and preferred to work with male associates.

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I just don’t think your response to a partner’s behavior should vary based on their gender.

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