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You ask for the raise before you look. Once you pull the competing offer card, you’re likely done at your firm within 1-2 years max. You’ll either be shown the door immediately, told to stay without a pay increase, or given a pay increase while they sabotage your growth and find a replacement and get rid of you later.
I had this at my previous employer . I was doing really well and the skills I had in tech were very much in demand . I genuinely wanted to stay but the offer was 30% higher .
Had a talk with the partners and they were happy to invest in me as they realized my skill set was worth way more that I was being paid for .
I started by taking this to my mentors who then took it to the partners notifying them of the situation . I wasn’t really trying to look around but the offer was just too good for my income at that time .
I did this thinking my lead was a mentor and soon found that was not the case. Cue sabotage and me accepting the other offer.