How do you comfort someone who’s experiencing imposter syndrome? My little cousin is doing her first design internship and it breaks my heart to see her feel so bad when I know she’s so talented.

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Would she find comfort in knowing people with full-time jobs even years into their careers feel it? Sometimes it doesn’t ever go away, but you eventually start to realize no one else knows what is going on and maybe you do deserve to be there 🙂

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I think the best thing is to just affirm her and assure it’s not just her. But unfortunately imposter syndrome isn’t really something anyone else can fix for you, you just learn to cut off unhealthy self talk

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I love this story about Neil Gaiman and Neil Armstrong. I find it helpful to be reminded that the best people experience imposter syndrome. In fact, the more talented you are and the better you are as a person, you expect more from yourself and experience imposter syndrome. Those who are full of it usually don’t pause to reflect if they are good at what they do. I would rather be in the first camp.
https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2017/05/the-neil-story-with-additional-footnote.html?m=1

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I always get people to talk about their work or their skillset as if it was their best friend’s or sister’s work, for example: “Jane, pretend I made this graphic. What would your feedback be to me?” Or “pretend it was your best friend leading that meeting. What would you tell her to do better and what were strengths?”

It is a little hard to explain here but people are much more caring of others and hate to speak kindly about themselves (especially women). This gives her permission to be less critical and praise herself some. Really helps if you are close to this person and they have to say it to you because they definitely won’t be harsh.

Also, like others say — always be open with folks about your imposter syndrome. Tell them about a time when you winged it or were afraid/worried. It helps them to know everyone feels that way.

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I would encourage her to get plugged into a design community where she can get exposure to more senior designers who are willing to be upfront about their own challenges.

Something like https://www.designbuddies.community would be very helpful

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Share how you have struggled with those feelings and ways you've overcome it. Maybe you didn't get rid of the feelings, but you learned how to talk yourself through it.

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At least she has it! The most dangerous / incompetent people don’t experience it at all. Those people scare me.

Many good articles and podcasts on it. Its normal for so many.

Reading on how the brain function and understanding of oneself as a human being have helped me.
For example, I always wondered why I struggled with it or feared ‘leveling up’ until I learned that our brains are wired to protect us and keep us in a comfort zone. Now that I know that at least I know the why.

Hope this helps?

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One of my go to hr statements: growth does not happen in the comfort zone. Let’s get uncomfortable.

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Thanks y’all!

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I try to help them normalize it. It’s an everyone all the time kind of problem. It takes everyone about 6 months to ramp up into a new job when they “know what they are doing.” Celebrate the wins. Learn from your mistakes, and whenever you can, the mistakes of others (graciously of course!). Connect with other interns. Connect with people hired on after their internships. Look into employee resource groups. Find a mentor. Ask for help from HR. Get honest and vulnerable with the right people who will normalize with you (the Neil story above).

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Tell her that this is a construct created out of pure racism. She deserves to be where she is and her potential is just as important as her skill set.

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