{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you deal with a boyfriend who is going through a rough time career wise? I've recently achieved some career milestones - things are going well for me. The opposite can be said for my boyfriend. I told him this week would be busy and I couldn't spend time with him and he's pouting and throwing a tantrum like a big baby. It's a huge turn off. Any suggestions on how to handle? He's normally pretty supportive so this recent outburst is surprising.", "post_id": "61f0518aef848c002eae998b", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "5da60c126e5f0d001f32f497", "bowl_name": "Women in Law", "feed_type": "bowl" }

How do you deal with a boyfriend who is going through a rough time career wise? I've recently achieved some career milestones - things are going well for me. The opposite can be said for my boyfriend. I told him this week would be busy and I couldn't spend time with him and he's pouting and throwing a tantrum like a big baby. It's a huge turn off. Any suggestions on how to handle? He's normally pretty supportive so this recent outburst is surprising.

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Difficult one. On one hand: the measure of a person is who they are in adversity, so a lack of support for you now can be an indicator that your success is only relevant to him for as long as he is successful himself. Do with that what you will. On the other: men are typically socialised too much to be strong/providers and are not taught enough how to handle their emotions in a healthy way. It sounds like he is struggling with the adjustment to his new and (fingers crossed) only temporary reality. Having honest conversations and empathy helps to assess which situation you are facing, letting each of you know what kind of support the other needs, and may help you re-evaluate from there which support you are able and willing to give.

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This is more helpful than the couples therapist we go to. Thank you for this perspective.

If his behavior is uncommon, I would try to empathize but be honest about how his behavior is affecting you. It can be tough to experience major setbacks without reliable support from your partner (whose career is thriving). I’m sorry you’re on the receiving end of that.

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It’s understandable. Both your needs and your partner’s are important. Sometimes it’s helpful just to acknowledge that expressly with your partner. Good luck!

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My take: make some time for your partner this week to support them. The emotional outburst is their way of saying they need your support. Even if it’s only for a couple of hours, make the time. That is assuming this relationship is something you want to hold onto.

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