How do you deal with a burnt out coworker who has gotten very defensive and reactive? It’s like walking on eggshells.

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Have you brought them out to coffee and had an open conversation with them? One where you were open to feedback (even if it was personal)?

These things take time to heal, but it starts with open communication and a willingness to hear feedback (something this whole industry struggles with). Too often we just throw free beer or comp days at people and expect that to change their feeling towards management styles or processes that’ve taken weekends, vacations, and personal relationships from them.

likesmart

Okay, then I second the coffee and conversation approach. However, the person may not be in a place to be receptive to that. In this case, the only thing you can control is yourself and your reactions. You can choose to be not defensive and not reactive in your interactions and lead by example. I usually remind myself it’s not personal and try to continue to be courteous, helpful, and professional.

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Have you tried talking to them? There could be something else going in their life you’re not aware of. I went through a similar experience at work when I divorced and honestly I felt so bad about my attitude, but at the same time, it would have been nice if someone had reached out to check on me.

likehelpful

Following because we have one and I’ve yet to crack to code. It’s exhausting to be around.

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This was me once. My manager pulled me aside into a conference room and asked me if I wanted to be there. Told me that if this wasn’t what I wanted to do, then he fully supported me taking the time to figure it out. But- If I wanted to be there, I needed to get my shit together. Realized I love the work, but was burnt out in my current position. It was a moment of self reflection I really needed and I have always appreciated him for not being afraid to call me out on my shit. Needless to say, I left that agency and moved on to a place that was more challenging and I think everyone was better for it. No one wants to work with someone who is over it. And no one likes going in to a job that they are starting to resent

likehelpful

I feel like there’s more context needed here. Is the coworker your direct report, or are they the same level as you?

helpful

It’s a coworker. A partner in the day to day.

Be supportive and make sure you’re not causing any shit for them.

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Just make sure it doesn’t rub off on you, and never add fuel to the fire. Don’t agree for the sake of agreeing. Just don’t engage the negativity and change the subject to anything positive

smart

I’d beg them to take a vacay day. If you’re feeling patient tell them you’ve been struggling to be in sync. My co-worker went thru a divorce & was awful to be around, aggressive or mopey or both. Short term coffee runs & an occasional cupcake also work wonders.

Fire them.

If that's really your answer you don't deserve to be in a leadership position.

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