How do you deal with a manager who has unrealistic expectations?

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How do you know they are unrealistic?

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Make sure you're on the same page about what amount of work something requires, and about what the work is. That means setting a time to discuss your projects, tasks within them, and laying out how long what should take. In the extreme, you may end up realizing you're doing unnecessary work or re-working things you already did. In this case, some of your work may outright disappear. Great! For the work that doesn't, both you and your manager should gain better expectations.

In any case, ask to make incremental check-ins to help calibrate your schedule. The well known "double the time you think something will take" rule of thumb is a starting point, but just that. Everyone has their own degree of pesimism or optimism that they learn to recognize only with time.

If your manager ignores you because of extreme understaffing keeping them busy, keep trying until you get through. Eventually you'll find a window where they can make time for you. If this takes too long, start looking for a better work environment. Being constantly overloaded is unsustainable. Just when to give up is of course up to you, but do make sure you try and try again to make things work first.

When the work is technical, it's also important for you to do some calibration ahead of talking to your manager. This is because they may not be able to relate to your tasks. Ask someone who -can- relate for help in prepping. A dedicated project manager who already does the planning is ideal, but I assume you don't have one since you're asking this. Your tech lead is the next best resource. If no one has the title, you still likely have a tech lead. This is the individual contributor who tends to take point on the big ticket projects, generally has a lot of advice to give, and may even be seen as a teacher/mentor by others. Whoever you talk to, ask them to help give you an idea of how long each of your tasks should take you. If you think you're slower, c'est la vie, you can only do what you can. Use the longer of the times.

...and if you are the tech lead yourself and don't have a project manager, time to learn about that.

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