{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you deal with *over involved* parents, the kind that aren’t so much actually concerned about their child as they are with trying to control the classroom?", "post_id": "6141611d4160bd0029d8ec5d", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "5c751b9f2f6b98001bc666f8", "bowl_name": "Teachers" }

How do you deal with *over involved* parents, the kind that aren’t so much actually concerned about their child as they are with trying to control the classroom?

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Try to communicate as much as possible through email. That way there is a record of exactly what you said as well as what they said.

likesmarthelpful

Document everything, and put in teacher logs. It helps you in best/worst cases scenarios. If they frequent campus/conferences always have a third person. Admin to curb parent ultimately, and refer them to Supervisor/Principal with gusto with questions/concerns beyond your responsibilities. Boundaries need to be set, that is not your stress!

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Hope and pray that they aren’t crazy. And then hope and pray more that they don’t try to start trouble with the state. Even this site isn’t anonymous enough to share a horrible situation that came about with one of these type. People who have dealt with these special individuals will warn you to “document, document, document”, and try to communicate in email and when in person, only talk with others in the room as witnesses. BEWARE!

likesmart

I don't have that problem very often and usually only from people new to the district or people who are certifiable because I have carefully crafted a reputation as someone who simply doesn't tolerate other people's crap...takes some work and some time but reputations carry weight and responsibility...for the long term I would strongly advocate going that route but it will take thick skin, effort, and time but I have found it well worth while.

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I had a parent like that last year. (A wonderful addition to CoVid.) I’m still not entirely sure what the parent was after or why the parent was upset. The student had an A, got along with others, worked well in groups, always came into class with a smile... The student also looked a little mortified when the parent showed up. The parent kept insisting we test and look for accommodations. We did test and everything was at or near grade level. No accommodations were recommended. The parent yelled and fought. We kept plugging away as we had been and the student aced all classes. I’ve heard the parent is already stirring up more trouble this year for the new teachers. Our saving grace last year was admin, documentation, and reasonable compliance. It didn’t appease the parent, but it allowed the district to back us up when the parent took it up a notch.

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Helicopter 🚁 parents? Listen to their concerns and if they continue to push, get a meeting set up with your principal.

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I think of this two ways: 1. As a parent myself, I expect certain things from teachers. Examples include: verbose report card comments (elementary), weekly gradebook updates (secondary), a clear curriculum map, extension projects, etc. 2. However, parents have definitely asked me for things that were unreasonable: work two weeks in advance for their student, constant 1:1 time with their student during class, helping their student find their assignments in their back pack, etc. I guess what I’m saying is, there are reasonable requests that teachers should accommodate and those that seem beyond the pale. I appreciate parent communication but not so much when they want to demand accommodations that may or may not be feasible. My solution is to always one up whatever they ask for, show them you’re more than competent and up to the task. Make it so they have no way out because you’ve given them everything they’ve asked for and they’re still miserable. At this point they’ll come to terms with what they actually want and leave you alone.

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I prefer they say “thank you” and go on their way…

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Being a parent and teacher an over involved parent cares because their kid is in your class, otherwise they probably wouldn’t even make a fuss. Now if their child isn’t in your class and they are still making a fuss document that sh** that parent has no right unless real danger is happening in your class

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I beat them at their own game. I message or call them frequently. I had one a few years ago who called the principal and asked him to "make that woman stop calling." I never heard another word.

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Support from your administration should tell and say a lot. If you don’t have that I would consider moving on

Give them a child to read with or do math with in the hallway. Have them cut laminated stuff out for you. Give them a lesson to teach and let them fall apart and appreciate all that you do. Lol

You have a pandemic which does what you’ve been trying to do for a decade. It closes the campus.

You’re welcome to your opinion. Please come work at my campus and then form an informed opinion.

I don't. I don't respond to their emails, etc. I tell them to discuss their concerns with an administrator.

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