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Have an offer from FAANG company with TC around $200k. Non-tech Program Manager Low/Medium COL (Not Cali, NY, SEA). Awaiting offers for the other two for the same type role. What is considered a strong offer in terms of total comp for non-tech Program Management IC5/L5 for Facebook (Meta) , AWS, and Google Low/Medium COL? Would also help if u can provide expected base/bonus/rsu/sign on breakdown Current TC: 190K 6YOE Google Facebook (Meta)
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Coach
“I appreciate your perspective.” And then either listen if you agree, or do absolutely nothing with it and move on with your day.
‘Thank you for the advice. We will have to see about that!’ You have to build a thicker skin honestly making sure you and your husband/SO are on the same page helps a lot too! I hate to say that because I’m still working on the thicker skin
Mentor
‘Thanks, this is what works best for us’. And then ignore.
I smile and nod and then do things my way. If they are extra nosey then I ask them to come and take care of the baby. Indian here so everyone of my relatives think they can lecture me 😒
Ugh same
For close family members…
I look them in the eye. I touch their hand. I say, “I love you too. “ Then I ask them about their advise.
Once I have my mother or sister-in-law or brother or cousin or grandmother talking… they would enjoy telling their story. And I could just relax and listen to their story.
Mostly ignore and move on. Or say thanks for the tip and do whatever you want. My MIL offers a lot of passive aggressive advice which we made into a fun little joke we now laugh about. After unsolicited advice from strangers, I started saying, “curious, are you related to this child, a renowned expert or pediatrician, or financially invested in the reading of this child? No, then I’m not interested.” Very effective!
I mostly say thanks but do whatever we want. My mother is relentless and rude about it so after a few years I got mean back. It hasn’t worked to stop it from starting but she doesn’t carry on nastily anymore when I snap back. My snap back isn’t too nice to be honest. A live in nanny moved in when I, an only child, was a week old, compared to us with three kids and a stay at home parent. She also can’t handle spending time with more than one child now and constantly complains about noise.
Sometimes I just say “wow that’s a great idea I’d never thought of that, I’ll try they next time ” and then they don’t have much to say. Conversation ends.
Good lord I feel you girl. Esp from people who aren’t even parents yet. I’ve gotten “omg don’t put your baby on his tummy, he looks to be in pain”. “Why do you want the baby to sleep on his bassinet, you should sleep with him to nurture the bond” etc etc my sister constantly taunts me about tummy time lol my 4 month old had great head control at 3 months and is getting stronger bc of his tummy time. He doesn’t seem to be bothered. My MIL tries but my husband nips it in the bud. My mom and sister, however never get the point and constantly offer opinions (rather blatantly and rudely)
If it’s my mom I’ll just be honest about how I feel. If it’s my MIL she can F right off.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CU47DzCrNxE/?utm_medium=copy_link
I just say “thank you for sharing your opinion” or “thank you for your perspective” and then ignore.
Pursed lip nod and smile (Khaleesi meme). They’ll take the hint. Or if they don’t, just “thank you for your feedback” or “wow that’s great that worked for you.”
And then have an agreement with spouse/parent friend where you can vent and let out all your would-be zingers after.
But yeah when my MIL told us we overpraised our son—when she always bragged about her eldest and rarely praised my husband—we both nearly lost it.