How do you determine what issues in your relationship deserve working on and staying despite feeling disrespected/frustrated versus ending it? Definitely have a tendency to not give second chances out of fear my kindness is being taken advantage of, but I notice many people work through it and don’t take it so personal.

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For me it was a question of is this issue a deal breaker and has this person shown a willingness to change/grow when provided with constructive feedback.

If it's something minor (ex. They showed up dressed inappropriately for an event and were too late to fix it), that is not a deal breaker for me. It is also something I can fix with a conversation and a shopping trip. If it's something major (ex. Physical abuse), they're gone from my life forever.

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Good advice so far, I would add some nuance that the SO is willing to be accountable for their own issues (we all have issues) and not always shove the blame on me for everything. This conversation resonates with me because I’m in the middle of a decision too, and I’m doing a LOT of work on myself now (therapist, 12-step program, shadow work) and the SO is doing a little self-improvement but it’s not getting past her ego. She portrays a constant victim-hood and is not taking responsibility for her own life. She is not happy, I have been bending over backwards for years to make her happy and I finally realized this: I can’t make her happy, she has to find her own happiness.
Hope that helps, good conversation

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As long as both talk to each other about the issues and you see your SO is interested in making things work, then you are on the right path.

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Following as well - my gf is 3.5 years is starting to discard things that are fundamental to me!

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Right, I am in a similar situation. My bf of 1 year just snapped at me (thankfully did not yell) and just left my place in a middle of us cooking brunch.

I thought long and hard and I personally chose to give one chance. He was very apologetic and said it had nothing to do with me. It was the first time it happened and I haven’t expressed myself some boundaries.

I am already in therapy and he said will go for himself too.

I am giving myself max 2 months after the accident and we will see what happens. If similar issued as I found recently happen again after me setting boundaries arise again, I am out. If not, we will keep trying.

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Following, in a similar situation.

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