{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you get over a failed effort? I did learn a lot from this project and know I would do better next time. Despite that, I am still depressed and anxious over this.", "post_id": "5b3f54eacd569900130a9d93", "reply_count": 6, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59d02db312fe2f0011e02215", "bowl_name": "Depression/Anxiety Talk" }

How do you get over a failed effort? I did learn a lot from this project and know I would do better next time. Despite that, I am still depressed and anxious over this.

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I’m feeling the same way. Something that helps me is owning up to my failure and not letting myself explain it away. And then I think about why I’m valuable and why I love myself even though I might have been professionally inadequate this time. Your value is greater than your corporate aptitude! Hang in there

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It’s great to recognize that you learned a lot from this tough experience. Something that helps me is to really sit down and write out the underlying causes of what happened, and be very honest about which were in my control and which were not. For the things that were, I try to write out what I will do differently in the future or what I need to work on to improve in that area. I’m often surprised that the most common improvement is to ask for help earlier / more often, or more about communicating risks than any big gap in my capabilities or skills. It does take time to have enough distance to view failure as constructive positive, but as long as you are using it as an opportunity to grow you will be good.

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All you can do is your best. You can't change the past, you're doing everything you can by promising to do better. Are you anxious that you'll be known for this? The answer is still just to keep going and prove that you don't give up. If you let this anxiety overcome you, you're letting the failure act as your last word. Everyone is meant to fail at some point. Those who fail more and keep going are the best of the best. Keep going, friend

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Agree with SM1. Writing it out helps you learn and view the situation objectively (ie, corrects cognitive distortions) It’s akin to cognitive behavioral therapy - highly effective in getting rid of guilt, anxiety, and depression.

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I sort of left out the second piece - which is that the hardest thing sometimes is not making adjustments to the things in your control, but learning to accept the things that aren’t, and giving yourself a break about them (or making bigger changes to take yourself out of bad situations altogether). Leadership decisions, client behaviors, affordability / funding; there are so many things in our industry that are out of our control. Learn to let yourself not feel bad / feel like you own those things where you can.

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Thank you everyone! Your support and thoughtful responses have been most helpful

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