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Hey OP I know the struggles. You need to reach out to ppl in advance of you coming back into town - weds is usually ideal for me. I just message like 3 different groups with a hey what's up I'm gonna be in town on X night / what are you guys up to / let's do Y if no plans yet. Usually at least 1/3 works out and then boom I catch up with that circle.
I don't have local friends anymore. This job has forced me to make new casual friends at the client cities and with some of the client staff. One of the many things you have to give up due to the nature of the this job is socialization opportunities with friends.
Lately they haven't even been inviting me out to things out of the assumption I won't be able to go due to being out of town. Not sure to just let it be but it's been bothering me...
Heavy use of WhatsApp
Throw a party when you're in town.
☑️ See and catch up with everyone at once
☑️ Create memories centered around you/your party
☑️ Buy at least 6 weeks' worth of social goodwill
It's been easier to keep up with friends in other cities (of which there are many) as well as friends that are in similarly or more intense fields -- surgeon friend is even less accessible than I am! Local friendships do take a hit though -- I have to take the initiative to maintain the ones I care about.
How long did it take for you to stop feeling like you're left out? I've been on the road for a year and a half and found not checking my social media to be helpful .. seems like I just care too much though.
If they're not inviting you, because they're afraid you're not in town, then you need to let them know how often you would be in town. People who aren't in consulting don't understand what it entails. You should also initiate and invite them to something to show you are interested in hanging out with them.
I just accepted that all my friendships in life are ones of convenience, and half of them just wanted to use me for money or tech support. It actually made my life better in a way.
OP what city are you in? i'm NYC based and never had issues after 3 years of straight travel because most of my friends were consultants / bankers and couldn't socialize midweek haha. not aspirational tho frankly
Few things helped me...1) be part of some activity locally..like if i am in town, Monday nights are a sport night..we play basketball etc. 2) sunday mornings typically breakfast group..3) friday nights..a monthly casual meet with locals. All this dont happen every week..but keeps me in touch. Also whenever i travel, i reach out to friends there and meet atleast once
I've been on local engagements and still have that issue. My friends know that I'm a wash throughout the weekday. Most of them are cops, nurses, or work shift work, too.
We find a way to make it work. Just takes a little effort and usually coordination on my end. This gig helped me really understand who's worth my time and who isn't.
Good friends will work with you and be understanding. The rest will fall from your life.
Lastly..parties at ur home will be the easiest..find a reason!!!!
I just watch their snapchats and say well damn... must be nice
Facebook group chat
I FaceTime my friends all the time
@M2 used to do this every month, definitely helped (although I still didn't get invited out in return very much). Maybe I should start again...
Just going to echo one thing that's been said - making plans in advance, even if its "let's meet up then and see where we end up"
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