how do you guys handle your struggle with coworkers? I'm a child of alcoholism and abuse, and I've always been a pretty heavy drinker myself. Well, this last year has been a real doozy for me, and...

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

You will realize, upon sobriety, how much more you have to do especially as an SM with a great career. Once I sobered up I couldn’t imagine how I found hours a day to just chill and drink...

like

Thank you, kind strangers! I was a part of ala-teen in my younger years and sorta lost touch with it when I went to college. I'm actively searching for meetings I can work into my schedule, and planning out how I will handle the next big company event. As a leader, I know my behaviors are under a microscope; people notice what I do and I want to show up as my best self at these functions. For now, all I can say is I'm One day sober, and I will work my ass off to get to a day 2.

like

I echo the recommendations to find a meeting to attend. I’ll add that given your situation, you may find a lot of relief, insight, and fellowship in both AA meetings and Al-Anon.

For me, I’ve come to realize that my sobriety is far more important than just about everything else in life (because without it, I’m likely to lose or ruin everything good I have). AA will give you the tools, but the keys for me have been just taking it one day at a time, and to go to as many meetings as I can reasonably make given my schedule.

A non-alcoholic literally can’t comprehend the implications of having just a single drink (which for me usually meant bingeing and disaster). It’s good to have a few excuses in your pocket to side-step the typical comments and peer pressure. Things like, “im on antibiotics”, or “I developed an allergy”, or “i’m trying to be healthy”. The best option is to avoid the situations where people continue the drinks after dinner. If all else fails you can order a club soda with lime. :)

like

You’re doing a great job so far. Next step is to find a meeting and attend it. That way you have a space to share and hear others who are also in a similar position. Wish you the very best. I am sure you will get through this

like

You owe no one an explanation. People choose sobriety for different reasons and at different times. Few people will press the issue but if they do, I’ve found “I’m not drinking right now for health reasons” is enough to get a back down. (Health is vague and could be anything from addiction and mental health to pregnancy, diet, or fitness.)

I also agree with the advice above to either find a meeting to attend or - if that isn’t your thing - plug in with an online coaching group.

You’ve got this!

like

I would just dont project ie worry about explaining it in the future answers will come to you maybe it is that you say you are trying a healthy kick or something like that. do what you need to do )find a meeting) and go from there. i have spent a lot of energy trying to solve problems that have never materialized...

like

I'm starting to realize I have a problem. I want to get help and make a change, but am a bit worried about how to handle the major swing in my choice to go from life of the party to fully sober. I know don't want to backslide, but I don't really want to draw attention to it at work. I'm apprehensive to discussing my sobriety with acquaintances and colleagues. Any suggestions?

Related Posts

Is it weird that I m traveling with my child to see my family while my wife stays back? (Side note: she had a drama with my mom a few months back) is this what I should expect going forward?

funny

Does anyone know what the fertility benefits and maternity leave are at IPG companies? I'm considering an opportunity at an IPG-backed small agency and trying to figure out what the IVF coverage looks like. When is the right time to ask for their benefits package? TIA!

likehelpful

Well, I’m out of advertising. After getting laid off on April 30th I held out in hopes I’d find something “cool” and be able to continue dressing like a clown for work (I’m heavily tattooed and have my septum pierced). I took a job as an EA in real estate investment banking and while I do feel relieved to not have to keep up the “cool” agency culture, I’m a little nervous to return to buttoned up corporate America. I know I’m good at my job, but unemployment Swiss cheese brain is real!

like

On a new project, how do you build relationships? What specific actions do you take? I’m not the type to randomly walk up to someone I have no real need to talk to and just ask them how they’re doing

like

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but I feel like I wasted 20 years of work life- as if I’m back to sq 1. Married with baby, super under pressure (by myself and the bills) to provide for my family. Looking for more payment security - not knowing when the next paycheck comes in kills me. Apparently I got so many skills etc., but I don’t believe in myself rn. Looking for a friend or someone who was in this kind of situation and got out of it. Of course, looking also for a safe haven/job

likehelpful

I had a miscarriage on Tuesday, my first. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. The Dr. was just as baffled by the timing, but here I am. My head is trying to be practical, but my hormones are raging. I feel like a stranger in my own body. How do women do this and work at the same time? I’m a freelancer, I’m so busy at work, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my coworkers about this. I’m trying to just get through the week but am really struggling.

like

Best self-care tips for dealing with loneliness/sadness this time of year? This is my first Christmas without my mom and it just feels like nothing will ever be the same again 😭. If you’ve lost a parent can you give me advice on getting through the holidays? Being a parentalish figure to my students is both healing and heartbreaking.

like

I tried resigning and my company really doesn’t want to take no for an answer and is trying to offer to have me move to another team or make some sort of counter. However, I know I won’t accept the counter bc the culture has been so bad for my mental health and have already accepted another offer. Struggling how to be firm on the no with this! Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!

like

Best men’s pants for daily wear? Going to/from business casual clients and to/from home office

I’m planning on requesting my raise before my anniversary (in December). Any advice as to how to approach the conversation with my boss?

I love my job and the people I work with, but there’s one thing that really bothers me: the lack of diversity. Sometimes when I walk into the office and see everyone else around me as the only POC, it feels kind of weird. I don’t think anyone here has ever said anything racist or sexist to me personally, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about these issues with anyone because they might take it personally and then things could get awkward between us.

likehelpful

Would you feel comfortable telling HR that your service line’s culture sucks and name the individuals who cause it? Or is a better approach saying it’s the leadership in general creating a negative and toxic culture? How effective are these conversations really? Trying to assess if there’s any point in bringing this up. Obviously HR works for the company and an employee sharing their thoughts on the unsupportive, cold leaders could bite me in the long run.

like

Is it normal for a start-up to be super vague and keep setting up meetings to get to know you but gives you bare minimum details about them?

I had a start-up reach out to me and after a few meetings I have barely been able to get any information about them. I don't know name, size, or anything but a vague description about what they offer (don't even know what role they would want me in). Is this normal or am I right to be annoyed?

like

Hello fellow HR pros! I really need your opinions on HR certifications. I am deciding between PHR and SHRM-cp. I have read just about all there is online comparing the two and can not decide. My heart is telling me PHR, my mother in law (an HRBP) is telling me to go with SHRM, as it’s more widely recognized, more established and a larger network in general. I work for a 350~ company who is growing rapidly through M&A. Passions/interests are compliance, strategic vision, M&A, branding and culture

like

Sitting in an open office. Both ppl next to me are on 15+ minute phone calls (one proposal review, one talking about child care) with open phone rooms 20ft away. What's my best move here?

like

Insurance company just denied my prior authorization for IVF due to high FSH.

I can't afford paying it myself. I’m 40, it’s like my last chance of having a child in this life is vanishing. I am heartbroken.

like

Ok if the work environment is toxic and the manager totally unsupportive ... And eventually you leave the job ... During interviews when the HR asks you why did you leave the job ? What should be the answer ? I have often seen / heard that you should never badmouth your boss or company no matter how bad the situation was at work ? Then what should be the answer to this question ?

like

How do you help younger teams think more critically about the work they bring to you? Especially when they often get paired with more senior creatives who end up picking up the slack for them. ...

like

How old was ur first kid when u and ur partner left them for an overnight trip??

like

More Posts

What’s your exit strategy? Do you have a number/age in mind? In days like today, I wish I could retire and not look back. But two kids, living in NY, think at least 6M (combined with hubby) in the bank before contemplating… what about you?

like

I feel at a loss at my company's direction for the next few years and it's making me so stressed about my future. I wish leadership was more clear + I had more of a voice but I feel like a tiny cog in a machine that's warp speeding towards a giant ? mark in an industry in constant turmoil.

like

I can’t stop laughing at this 😆

Post Photo
likefunny

Dad of 1 year old twins here looking to switch to McKinsey after graduating from a top 10 MBA. How do you guys and gals manage it? Got any advice for me? Thanks much!

Is working outside of your contracted hours exploitation?

I have a real issue with this industry guilt tripping anyone who decides to leave on time to instead pursue their hobbies.

like

Hello Fishes,

My friend has recently joined
EY Gurgaon as a Manager in Startegy & Transaction Team.
He is saying EY has given that much he cnt say no though he has recently changed his last firm. As per him he is saying he got 55lakhs package it this true ? EY

likesmart

Hi Guys,

I have offers from Infosys and HCL. Both companies are offering 25LPA. Infosys hiring me as a Senior consultant (5A band). In HCL, my designation will be a Technical Lead (E2 band). My primary role on both companies will be the Team lead. As this is my first opportunity to working as a Team lead. In Infosys, I will work from Remote location and the whole team will be in some other location. But In HCL every one will be on same location

Please suggest which will be the best option.

like

I know this is a gym check in bowl but curious what did you guys eat today?

Chicken (love my air fryer), eggs, stir fried rice with veggies.

like

What do you think about taking a location transfer from Bangalore to Chennai. How is Chennai city guys?
LTIMindtree

like

I work in healthcare administration but was a medic for years. You learn so much about innovation but seems like most health systems just want people to fall in line and just do what's always been done. I would take a pay cut to work for a system that's actually trying to do something disruptive in the Industry as opposed to just using buzz words in ppt.

like

Looking for job in SF. Currently tax senior making 9x K. Pretty open for type of jobs (public Or industry) but don’t want another busy season. DM if you can refer

like

Does anyone know if 21Grams is hiring?

like

So Sanofi is setting up an analytics center in Hyderabad and seems to be recruiting quiet aggressively. I am negotiating on an offer but it quite low compared to industry standards. Does anybody have any idea how it is? They seems to have barely anything set up as of now. Sanofi Eli Lilly and Company ZS Associates

like

Anyone put an offer on a DR Horton home? How much over ask do they usually go for?

like

Anyone know how to connect with someone on EY's Smart Health team?

(Heads up, I can't tell who "reacts" to the post, so I welcome any advice in the comments.)

like

What’s an average RN salary for newbies? I’ve been curious.

like

What level is a senior Partner Solution Architect - SAP?

I have an extremely difficult 2.5 year old boy. I know this is a difficult toddler age altogether but I think I’m experiencing way worse. There are frequent tantrums in public settings and it’s very embarrassing. We can’t do anything. He’s in daycare and apparently he thrives, so we just don’t get it. Should we wait it out or consult a behavior therapist?

like

I was offered an operations role in Midtown NYC. Is $105k a good salary for someone with 2.5 years of experience in the industry? Bonuses pay out typically in the spring and I would start in late August.

like

Additional Posts in Addiction & Sobriety

Y'all know about this?? Mark your calendars for next year 🗓♥️

Post Photo
like

I’ve already had cervical cancer (last year) and have been cancer free. Now have a hormone replacement specialist I have to see annually. Yesterday was the visit and she randomly decided to do a breast exam and found a lump. Couldn’t get me in for a diagnostic mammogram until next week. Came home and relapsed - it was not a full-on bender but I drank. How do I not beat myself up and just get up and keep going? Alcohol is the WORST thing for any cancer esp breast cancer. WTF is wrong with me!?

like

Been running on self-will for the duration of this lockdown. My reserves that I built up in this program are depleted. Thankfully I was able to attend a meeting this evening, and the topic was 3rd step. Funny how that happens. Good reminder that a life run on self-will can hardly be a success.

like

How do you all navigate that time of night when you hit a wall because you haven’t been drinking, but you’re friends are staying out? I’ve just been going home. But I’m in my mid 20s, and feel like I’m missing out on some friend bonding time. I suppose the answer is to just bond at different times of the day, and revolve my relationships around non going out environments.

likesmart

New to recovery and had an intake call with an IOP program. They said all sessions will be on Zoom and I’m really nervous that I won’t connect to the program virtually. Anyone start rehab virtually?

like

Has anyone here struggled with Adderall? Things have gotten bad for me again, and I’m looking for hope...

like

Got excited when I matched with this man! Unfortunately it’s not gonna work out between us. Don’t be discouraged single fish, sober partners are out there.

Post Photo
like

I relapsed this weekend and put myself in so much danger. I am lucky to have made it home safely. So sad and questioning my ability to get back on track

like

When did you realize you had an alcohol problem? Did a therapist, doctor help you recognize this issue? I think I have a problem but my therapist doesn’t seem to agree. My grandfather and father have alcohol issues and my sister is on AA. I seem to have this urge especially when I am under stress….

like

Friday checkin!! How’s everyone doing? It’s finally pool weather in texas which is a big drinking trigger for me but also a big positive. I love being in the sun. It recharges me. I love to swim, float, listen to audiobooks or rock out to music in the pool. Throw a meat on the grill, peel a salad. I feel healthy and recharged and the Claws compliment the day well. Tricks me into thinking I can drink healthy.

like

Curious to hear the story of anyone that has overcome or going through cocaine addiction. Given that people in this bowl make enough money to support such an expensive habit. Take me through your story - how bad did it get in terms of daily consumption and total money spent? Please share if comfortable.

like

What are the most important lessons you have learned at your lowest point and how do they continue helping you?

like

Sharing some thoughts I’ve had lately:

The end of my suffering occurs with the death of my ego. I am reborn when I surrender to life exactly as it is, right at this moment (and it’s always “this moment”). I can begin to grow when I either accept life as it is, or I change my life because I can’t accept it. The better I become at surrender and acceptance, the more I experience serenity. After a long enough time I realize I’ve had a spiritual awakening. Now I am peace / joy / love.

☮️ 😊❤️

likesmart

4 Years Yesterday!

One day at a time.

Post Photo
likeuplifting

Relapsing really bad, scared I’m going to die this time and leave my two young children without a mother. I’m really out of control and need serious help

like

Hi 🐠- question for you guys. My cousin is an alcoholic and has struggled to remain sober over the past few months. He and his wife purchased a breathalyzer about a year ago, and my cousin is now suggesting that he send his family members (wife, siblings, parents) regular screenshots of his breathalyzer results as a means to hold him accountable. As someone that grew up around addiction, this sounds like a recipe for strained relationships and animosity, but what are your guys thoughts?

like

Welcome to the Addiction & Sobriety bowl! This is not a bowl to make diagnoses or give advice; this is a place to answer questions from those who still suffer and for those in recovery to share hope.

like

I quit drinking at the first of the year because I was drinking too much as a way to cope with Covid. 99.9% of the time, I’m glad I quit drinking. And then there are those nights when I just want a glass of something to take the edge off, which makes me think alcohol was more of a coping mechanism than I thought and it’s probably a good thing I’m not drinking. I don’t even like wine very much, but I miss that low level buzz that makes everything a little less loud.

like

I’m on day 4 without a drink. Finally decided I need to get my shit together. “Working on it” won’t cut it, just do it.

likeuplifting

I think I reached my low. I was at a family gathering and was having fun but started taking shots. Needed help into the cab. Vomited at the venue. I don’t want to get like that again. Do I need to go completely cold turkey? Set a limit?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal