{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you help a spouse handle stress better? My husband is in insurance and seems to not be able to handle any kind of stress. He gets upset for days if an agent is “mean” to him. Today, he and his manager had his mid year review and he was mad afterwards because she gave him constructive criticism. He makes good money and, personally, I feel like at some point you are paid to deal with stress from clients and such. This has been going on for about 9 months. I had him go to the *cont below*", "post_id": "611d64ffb65043002a9cee43", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 6, "bowl_id": "58f7fc5fae9f610010f862d9", "bowl_name": "Women in Accounting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

How do you help a spouse handle stress better? My husband is in insurance and seems to not be able to handle any kind of stress. He gets upset for days if an agent is “mean” to him. Today, he and his manager had his mid year review and he was mad afterwards because she gave him constructive criticism. He makes good money and, personally, I feel like at some point you are paid to deal with stress from clients and such. This has been going on for about 9 months. I had him go to the *cont below*

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*cont* doctor and she prescribed anxiety medication but he stopped taking it because he said he didn’t feel any different and his doctor was fine with that. I try to be very understanding but honestly it’s getting to me. Does anyone have any advice? He is interviewing for new jobs (has been for months) but hasn’t gotten one yet. I kind of feel like a new job won’t help though since I think it’s an issue with stress management…

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Honestly I used to be like this. I felt like I was sensitive to everything. Even deserved criticism was hard for me. I was worried people didn't like me and I would dwell on things that I couldn't control. Meditation is helpful but Zoloft did it for me. I can let things go now, I don't blame myself for other people's behavior. Things just don't get to me like they used to. Maybe he needed a higher dose or a different one. My life is so much better now.

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I heard if we try to increase our level of stress in a control setting, it really helps dealing with stress in uncontrolled settings. It was suggested the easiest way to be in a controlled stress setting is to do a minute of very cold shower, and increase to as long as you can (up to 3 minutes i believe). I don't really have that much stress in my life, so i never tried to see if this technique actually works

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He actually used to do this but doesn’t anymore. I didn’t realize that it could help with stress though I just thought he did it to wake up. 😂 I’m going to mention this to him too. Thanks!

My boyfriend also gets really bad anxiety over like everything and to be honest it stresses me out. I’m normally pretty chill and handle stress very well but his anxiety makes situations worser than they are. Has he tried meditation, breathing exercises, working out, or just doing things to ease his mind and zone out? My boyfriend listens to podcasts and browses the internet which helps him sometimes.

He works out a couple times a week. I will mention the meditation to him. Honestly I think it’s genetic as his mom is the same way. She was just hospitalized for four days because of her anxiety. I kind of feel like they feed off of each other too, like he will call her and tell her about work and she will tell him how terrible and mean everything sounds. I’m just listening to it and thinking well it just sounds like work to me? I don’t know. It’s so frustrating.

Exercise, make him work out. I know this helps both my husband and I, as we are both in PA

Why not do the meds?

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I suggest therapy. My husband's doctor also told him he has anxiety. It often manifests as anger, which was affecting our family dynamic. I finally convinced him to see a therapist, and its not been perfect, but the improvements he's made in 2-3 months, after this being an issue for probably 10 years, has been a marriage-saver. No meds, just learning how to manage his emotions and perspectives.

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