{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you mitigate feeling like somewhat of an “outcast” for not wanting to have children? I’m only 25 but have always known it wasn’t for me. Now I’m seeing how my choice, and I don’t foresee myself changing it, could make my life slightly more complicated with dating and friends. Will I end up alone? Are there any mindsets that have helped you keep peace with having a child free by choice status?", "post_id": "60be5beba2782e0020ce4f63", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

How do you mitigate feeling like somewhat of an “outcast” for not wanting to have children? I’m only 25 but have always known it wasn’t for me. Now I’m seeing how my choice, and I don’t foresee myself changing it, could make my life slightly more complicated with dating and friends. Will I end up alone? Are there any mindsets that have helped you keep peace with having a child free by choice status?

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34 and pretty sure Im not having them and i dont really care when ppl turn their nose up. Those same ppl eventually complain about something kid related and I just smirk. Most ppl i know with kids are miserable and poor. They can have it.

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Thank you SD1 that is one of those things that makes me remember how much I enjoy my liberation and flexibility to spend as I’d like 😁 Both with time and finances

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There a whole bowl for this.

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Lol my bad - we’re in it!

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Friends- you can be friends with people who have kids, just different lifestyle and you will meet people with the same mindset, I have two good girlfriends that are child free and it’s great! Dating- just be upfront about it, some will weed them selves out, some are unsure and might have trouble down the road and some are child free too! So yes, it’s harder, but it’s not impossible!

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Just embrace it and make a joke about it when people say something. You’re only 25. Your friends are likely for the most part just acting like they enjoy children because they think they should. There will be people who will love hanging out with you because you don’t fake liking kids.

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I am 24 and have the same concern. I know I might end up single forever but well I still won't have kids just to change that 😔

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This. Having kids to avoid being or dying alone is just crazy, especially if you realize you do in fact like being alone - you’re screwed then. No give-backs (usually). Of note, I’ve never had someone (besides my parents) tell me that they flat-out advise having kids. On the contrary, all who have offered an opinion (again, besides my parents) have given either a mixed view or a “don’t do it” opinion and most have been the latter.

likeupliftingsmart

Don’t worry so much about what other people think. One way to look at this, especially if you don’t want kids, is that this is a matter of whether or not you’re going to allow other people to force you to take on the massive responsibilities of having kids, not limited to the hundreds of thousands (if not a million+) of dollars you will have to spend on them and the decades of time you will have to commit. If someone doesn’t respect my choice and my right to not make myself a slave to those commitments, they can go right ahead and f... you know the rest. And, as for dying alone, this is a bad assumption - just find like-minded partners. It’s easier than you may think.

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I love your mindset. I just wish more of us could share it and spend time together enjoying it

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OP - Think about it... would it make any sense at all for you or anyone to have children just to fit in?

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You just need like-minded friends is all. Even just one or two!

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There will be people you grow apart from, but it’s possible you would have grown apart due to other circumstances as well. I’m only a few years older than you, and I’m at the point where a lot of people I knew from high school/college are having kids. We’re at different places in our lives, and you learn to expect it. You will also probably find new friends who’s priorities and life plans align better with yours, because there are plenty of child free people out there. As for dating, I am upfront about it. There are a few types of people out there. The respectful ones who want kids and weed themselves out, the ones who think you’ll change for the right person, the ones who aren’t sure, and the ones who know they don’t want kids either. It’s just one of the conversations you need to have early on, so neither of you waste hour time, and most people are respectful/understanding about it. There are plenty of people out there who do not want children.

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Join a local child-free-lifestyle meet-up! We have so much more fun than those lame people who are driving their kids to soccer all day!

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I will send you a private message with the links!

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