{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "How do you raise kids to be personally driven?", "post_id": "5f26189acc917d001a79da74", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

How do you raise kids to be personally driven?

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Give them a chauffer

likefunnysmart

*chauffeur

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First, lead by example. Kids will emulate your actions far more than your words. Second, when you set boundaries, enforce them. There's nothing that will create more entitlement than a kid who believes that the rules don't apply to them. As a part of this, make sure that you're setting reasonable, enforceable boundaries. Third, and (in my opinion) most important - show them the happiness that comes from working hard! There's nothing more satisfying than getting something that you want as a result of working hard for it.

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Husband and I had this conversation today. We agreed it’s about a balance. I came from nothing, he came from parents who had nothing growing up, so they gave him and his sister everything. His sister is now the absolute worst human who wants hand outs for everything and thinks she deserves everything while doing nothing. I think it’s about striking a balance of making them comfortable, but at the same time, making them earn what they want. Give them the tools to be successful, and set them up for success, but draw the line there. They will find what they want badly enough to work for it, but it may take time to figure out what that is.

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I came from a very low income household, and my parent worked for very wealth people growing up. I basically got to see everything I wanted but couldn’t have. My mom would always tell me if I wanted it I needed to work hard to get it. That’s where my drive started, and later learned on my own to work smart as well.

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Also serious answer: find out what they like and learn/do it with them. It’ll grow passion and fuel the drive. They’ll want to keep learning and growing and in that process involve you and show you the growth their experiencing to share with you and gain your approval/appreciation as a parent.

likehelpful

They’re*

helpful

Encouragement, setting a good example, accountability, self autonomy, learning consequences for choices (not grounding at home because then you are the strict patent /enemy but instead let them get detention at school), societal praise for a job truly well done (extended family comments, awards at school).

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Pre-covid but still relevant: Travel, see the world and how other people live. Even if your family has roots in the US, find where you come from.

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Curiosity is a better trait to instill than being ‘driven’... it sounds like you want to super glue a golf club to their hand so they become the next tiger woods. Don’t be that guy.

helpful

Don’t spoil them

My parents made a list of chores, and each one had a set payment amount. They never bought me anything outside of Christmas, Birthdays, or vacation. Under 21 If I asked for money, they would help me come up with a way to do chores for other families in the neighborhood. After college if I asked for money they would laugh.

Make them get a job and stop giving them too much stuff they didn't earn starting at age of 14

My parents told me “no” more often than not. It made me build a tough skin and prioritize what was most important to me. I grew up in a well-to-do home where I was denied things not because we couldn’t afford them, but because they wouldn’t enrich my life or teach me responsibility. I literally remember one time my parents returned a pet bird I wanted because I didn’t take care of it.

@D1 apparently. I remember it distinctly.

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Encourage reading

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