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Am married now but when dating he paid like 70 percent of bills and I paid 30. He makes more than double what I make. Never was a problem!
I’m actually in the opposite position. We are newly married and I make a lot more than him. We are trying a joint account for joint expenses. And we each put in each % of our take home pay. So far ok. But it’s definitely harder for him to accept. Until he remembers the very nice house we live in :)
Pro
I’m about fairness, and fairness (50/50) would only imply if you both make the same in terms of salary, if not, then go with the percentage approach. That’s how I would do it :)
Pro
My husband and I split based on % of total income. We are about a 60/40 split.
This is how my husband and I operate too. It’s worked out well for us.
When my husband and I were dating we bought a house together. We decided to join finances and have a joint account. It's risky, but it worked out for us.
Rising Star
My husband and i have joint finances. In divorce everything is split equally anyway, no matter what account it is held in. Sometimes even a prenup cant save you from the states laws.
We have kept our individual checking accounts but we monitor all the money together; all our money is OUR money, together. All our goals in life are OURS, together. So it is never a matter of his versus mine in regards to paying for anything or saving for a downpayment or paying for kids things. This was a conversation we had prior to marriage & we agreed we wanted to handle it all this way.
Have you all talked about how you want to handle these things? It makes a huge difference in your financial life & relationship moving forward. Will you join most or all accounts? Have separate personal money? House expenses? Kids? Shopping for yourself or for your household? Savings? Retirements?
I have friend who has been w her spouse for 10 years & she manages all the money line by line and based on what theyve decided each will spend on each type of expense, they pay each other at the end of the month whatever is owed to the other person. If he owes her and doesnt have the cash to pay her back for something or needs to borrow from her to buy something it adds tension.
There are tons of ways to handle it all that can ve very successful but its important to decide what method you want to go with and what your philosophies on money and marriage/partnership are and how those align.
Rising Star
I am so glad its helpful! I know it is a TON that people just rarely talk about & we definitely arent taught in school. It can feel overwhelming but either hire a lawyer to help you through it or just sit down, download all the forms, fill them out / discuss everything, print, and go get notarized when needed.
Pro
We just put everything into shared accounts. We make decisions based on what we have together as it is one pot of money.
Enthusiast
My spouse pays for the mortgage and I pay for smaller bills (utilities).
Pro
This is the life I aspire to have once I’m married 😂
Are you married or engaged?
Enthusiast
This is so helpful!!! Thank you!!
Pro
We’re all in one pot now that we’re married but before that we split shared expenses based on % salary which IMO is the “fairest” way to do it. We had a joint account to pay rent, utilities, and groceries out of and we put in the % of that total cost that related to our salaries. Everything else remained in individual accounts for personal purchases. Worked great for us!
Percent of total earned income. Makes no sense to do 50-50 when one of us earns significantly less than the other.
Conversation Starter
I pay for the mortgage. He pays for pretty much everything else. I have significantly more money than him right now so it makes no sense for him to pay 50%. He will make more than me in a year though.
We are not married. I think we will get engaged in the next couple of months. Once we are engaged we are planning on joining our accounts and just doing everything together.
What is significantly less? I warn 20k less than my husband and he wanted to split 50-50 which I completely disagreed with
OP- I’m in the same situation. My SO makes over 5 times what I make. Given our situation he put down more than 80% and we registered the deed with him getting more than 50%. We were both comfortable with our decision which we had discussed before we started expanding our family. Once we expanded our family, my work schedule is more flexible than his which translates to a slower career progression for me. He pays the mortgages etc and I will leave work if there’s a child emergency. We don’t do a clean split financially but this works for us. It’s not perfect but we’re both comfortable with the situation. With our estate planning, his share goes to our children but they can’t kick me out lol. My advice is y’all it over, and be comfortable with the decision.
When we got the home, it was just us. I put down less than 10% and own 40%. On my own, I wouldn’t afford a studio in a nice area in NYC so I was comfortable with the decision. Now that we have a family and we have updates our plans such that the terms of our estate is very beneficial to me, I’m not complaining. I still work my ass off at work and I’m hoping to make SM in a year but I’m realistic that he pays for 99% of everything. As I mentioned to OP, she should be comfortable with whatever decision she makes. I’m fine with mine