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Age and current salary? 30 and 115k
Enthusiast
Oof, that’s gonna hertz
Rising Star
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Additional Posts in Fertility Bowl
Conversation Starter
Pro
Conversation Starter
Age and current salary? 30 and 115k
Enthusiast
Oof, that’s gonna hertz
Rising Star
Mentor
Conversation Starter
Pro
What we started doing was planning a fun date to do if I got my period. Sushi, sake, and wine was my favorite (because it’s all things you can’t have once pregnant)! It was like a tiny silver lining to cheer me up. But I realize that probably doesn’t help from a big picture perspective
Yes! I fit in all the sushi and drinks in between.. silver lining
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I think knowing it is OK to be upset and disappointed, you’re human! Feel the feelings and lean on your support. Sending hugs and good vibes your way!
Rising Star
I am so sorry you're in this pain, I have no additional magic solutions, beyond what the other warriors recommended. Just wanted to say this journey sucks and your tears are representative of how hard this all is.
Sending virtual hugs from an entire community. <3
I’ve learned just how dangerous toxic positivity can be from infertility. At first I felt so much shame in my bitterness/anger towards it all, but through a lot of therapy I now realize…. OF COURSE I feel that way. I wish people on the outside looking in realized this, just how complex the emotional rollercoaster of infertility is. I’ve accepted someone can never understand unless they are in this club.
This is really important.
I’m the guy in our relationship, so it is not ‘my period’, but I’ve tried (and failed!!) time and time again to radiate positivity and provide a good outlook. And through therapy I have then learnt that while that positivity is a good trait to have in general, it just doesn’t help ‘in the moment’.
Meaning: Don’t force yourself to be positive. Let the world be a horrible place for a day, hate everything around you, break something if you must. It is okay, and being frustrated does not equate failure!
I also recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in fertility patients. My felt my last therapist (non fertility specialist) was very insensitive to the topic.
^^ agree to this. It’s fantastic to have a therapist who understands the questions to ask after an egg retrieval vs. one that’s just like “How’s IVF going?.” Mine knew what was sensitive about each step through out infertility.
Rising Star
I’m so sorry. It took a lot out of me too.
3 failed medicated cycles and 5 failed IUIs. It broke my heart every time. But we just have to power through and remember that we want this and that our time will come as soon. Sending you hugs!!!!
This is me exactly.
I honestly don't know how other people do it, it's the worst feeling in the world, on repeat 😔
So sorry! Just try to have faith that your time is coming soon.
Feel all the feelings! For me, it hasn’t gotten any easier so I let myself grieve and then we go out and do something that we can’t do when pregnant that brings joy (drink wine, take the canoe out on the lake, ride horses, eat sushi, etc.)
This post actually made me feel better as I use to cry for 2 min every month in the bathroom (hiding the tears from my husband)
1. You’re not alone in your disappointment
2. Start your fertility journey with the doctors
I blamed myself every month for over a year and when all the test results returned all my tests were fine, and the doctor said it might be because of my husband. It took me over 4 months to process that information and even believe that it was true.
Note: my husband took an at home fertility kit prior to seeing a doctor, it showed that he had enough sperm but it doesn’t analyze the sperm shape, speed, etc, so during this time I continued to blame myself, not healthy.
To do it all over again I would’ve had my husband tested earlier.
I like Partner 1 idea of date night with sushi and wine though!
Chief
You don’t have to stay positive. You just have to keep going.